Life calendar: For 6 years I counted the time until my death

Life calendar is a Tim Urban-inspired tool of stoic nihilism for those going through an existential crisis. These squares are the weeks from birth to (probable, taking the average in Europe) death at around 80 years of age:

The principle is as follows:

1. Looking. 
2. You think how much, well, there is not much left, but you want so much.
3. It inspires you to act.

I tried that too. Since April 2017 every week I would mark a moment or my most memorable event of that week. As a kind of micro-blog:

What did I experience? What did I learn?

1. Marking what I have done every week... It was boring. For the first few months, I felt the pleasure of tagging, I felt some sense, but then it just became a habit. I only realized in June 2023 that it had become a pointless act from which I felt no benefit - so perhaps this habit was not difficult or very boring... But I did not feel joy.
2. It doesn't feel like filling the calendar has helped in any way. I didn't find the meaning of life, filling in the boxes didn't reduce my existential anxiety, I don't even feel like I remember the events of this year any better. I filled it out and I don't feel like I got anything. Not bad either.

That's all. I have nothing more to say. It was boring and I didn't feel the benefit. 

What else can be said about this calendar?

I didn't think of what. So MrI asked friends' opinions...

"If you don't have anything to say about the calendar after 6 years, it probably won't help you anywhere." + "By giving each week the same importance, it loses its context and its depth. After all, you know that sometimes more happens in a week than in a whole year."

Indeed. Probably, this challenge-tool soon became just a part of the routine, the ritual. I don't know how I didn't notice this before?

"Instead of being happy every day or celebrating your small achievements, you almost start to blame yourself for not doing enough and become a hostage of the hustle culture."

Good point too. Especially considering that I myself wrote a book about the benefits of laziness, but I subconsciously pressured myself all this time..? Although, it's true, as the year passed, I didn't feel much tension anymore. I was just bored.

“Such a VERY VERY compressed blog. Maybe even mentioning that the diary would make a little more sense."

Sometimes a few words are enough to remember the events of the week. But, it is true, a few words will not describe deeper experiences.

I have also experimented with a regular blog - I wrote for about two years, after which I also gave up because I didn't see the point anymore. Experiment with a gratitude journal also, at the end, it turned out to be half-assed (although, for me personally, it is more useful than marking observations anyway).

"Looking at the calendar makes it even better to see that no matter how fast you run, you'll still have to stop in the 80s."

Maybe this is the message that would be good to remember? Maybe. It's a pity that the "Life Calendar" did not help me remember this message.