I was recently Vipassana in meditation training. There was a lot of talk about that everything comes in waves. It comes, goes, increases, decreases, itches more, itches less, interesting, not interesting, you want to read more what is written here, you don't want to read more what is written here, you want to fix your hair, you don't want to, you want to achieve goals, you don't want to...
I also started to learn about birds in my spare time. Some birds live alone and others live in flocks. But both species have one thing in common: their routines.
Routines, routines, routines. Birds in flocks fly in circles, circles, circles, until, oh! They found something to eat. O! Found a place to rest. O! More wheels to fly, back to routine. They, and the solitary birds, have their default routines.
I'm thinking... Does a stork have to want to come back to Lithuania so badly to mate, raise children, eat 156 mice and 14 frogs, and then fly back to do its its meaning? Do the storks just get it by accident? And is the human meaning(s) any different from storks, cows and salmon?
Now, at this moment, when I am no longer blogging or challenging myself, I feel an emptiness inside. Something is missing. Well, not the way it was. But also not as it could be.
And it could be... Well... If I told that pretty girl that I liked her... Maybe... Oh, well, if...
...The more you look at your emptiness, the more it says. Promises. Whispers. Can, can, can, can. Want, want, want. Need, need, need. Must, must, must. Makes sense, makes sense, makes sense. Right, right, right, right.
And the void, oh, it never fills. There is always more.
This emptiness is why we live so comfortably. The reason why we have so much.
...But really?
Maybe the reason for all this is that someone had a routine and lived in waves? Been to Vipassana? Was he present in the moment, sincerely, and not looking for something more, but just doing what his routine told him to do in that moment?
I don't know how much I need to force myself to do something, either. Does it just have to happen on its own? Or does it have to be forced through force, spirit, discipline, morality?
What do you think?
