Sketches of a book about meaning: Why do you not need the meaning of life?

365 texts the meaning of life Sketches of a book about meaning happiness productivity
Reflections and drafts

Goal of the day: 1621 words. Written: 1626.

If you want to live happily... don't need the meaning of life.

A fact.

Like none of the following:

  • vocation in life,
  • places in the universe,
  • harmonies,
  • enlightenment,
  • fate,
  • sign,
  • ..

…Or other similar magical phrases, equal or not, whatever else religions, cult leaders, sorcerers and gurus who have “met God” come up with.

If you want to live a happy life and do what brings you joy, money, endless energy, satisfaction and other wealth... You don't need meaning in life.

Yes, I said it.

You can immediately accuse me to the cross and say that I am a terrible and uninspiring person, that I spit on a question that has plagued philosophers, writers, artists and other thinkers for more than 8 thousand years since the time of the Tower of Babel...

…However interesting meaning question (eg "what is the meaning of my life?" or similar), it is almost worthless in the desire for a happy life.

Yes, sometimes difficult questions are useful - they deepen our understanding of ourselves, the world, help us train our brains, hear other people's points of view, and so on... But these questions do not help us achieve happiness.

There are questions that will help you more.

For example, one such question would be:
And what do you like to do?

Let me explain.

…Pala, what? How is such a simple question better than deep, fundamental questions?

Although I've never been a very practical person (that's why I'm writing Cloud, even though I could be a civil engineer), I believe that when it comes to life satisfaction, more important than philosophical questions are the questions that can be answered.

This does not mean giving up all deep, interesting, mind-bending questions. No, not really. Because such questions educate, allow you to discover yourself through questions and sometimes, usually explaining your answers to others, help you feel better.

However, if you really want to find an activity that takes you…

…You don't need philosophical questions.

You need questions that WOULD damn well help you find your business. Practically. Possible. Not "might be useful", but "asked, did and understood".

I like to use romantic relationship metaphors when talking about life and the things I love. And here our questions differ as...

A) What is love?
b) Would I like to go on a date with him/her this weekend?

One question is deep, quite interesting, often raised by philosophers and intelligent people, and the other question is specific and gives the answer no once upon a time, oh... Well, as soon as you decide. And there is nothing to decide here.

One question hides the solution, the answer and perhaps even the real goal of the search, while the other opens an easy path: straighter, smoother, easier.

Do you notice the difference?

If so - then very good. And I hope you understand why I'm going to say these two sentences:

In this book, I will not talk about the search for the meaning of life.
Instead, I will talk about more specific things.

…And I will try to take you on a journey of self-examination. And the discovery of the Love of a lifetime. Love as an activity you adore doing.

So how do I find an activity I like?

Good question.

But not good enough. Because why would you want to find an activity you like? And why not... Favorite activity?

Because here's what I mean:

A favorite activity is a lower level of a Favorite activity.

When it comes to the things we choose to do (the jobs we try to get, the people we go on dates with or the Youtube shows we watch) I think the Love metaphor is the best.

Because what better explains that incomprehensible attraction to do something than the unfathomable power of Love?

Here, for example.

Remember your first love of life. Boy, girl or whatever. Remember your first meetings, conversations, touches. Everything you liked.

Do you remember that urge to always be with your love despite, well, let's say you were in different classes? Or were you from different corners of the city? Or were your parents very against your wishes? Or despite any other issues?

Remember that attraction?

It was a drag to do something, regardless of what people around you tell you. Despite the fact that, as you probably understand by now, that relationship was not the best.

It was Love. You loved your first love, because if you didn't love, you didn't love.

(And yes, self-defining is the best definition.)

And this strange simplicity of attraction, purity, a switch with only YES YES YES and NO NEVER is exactly what we are looking for.

This is what separates the activities we engage in one month and the next year. And activities that have carried us for 40 years.

  • People who are for us like, we like.
  • But the people who we love, we value above and beyond.
  • People who like, comes and goes.
  • People who we fell in love, we remember for the rest of our lives and tell our grandchildren about it.
  • People who like, disappears at the first trouble.
  • People who we love, remain together for marriage and even longer.
  • People who like, does not force you to try.
  • However, people who we love, gives you the power to do the craziest things. Just to reach your goal.

Or how I once asked a man what was the craziest thing he had ever done, and he said:

"This is the time when I fell in love with a woman and walked 30 km to her, because the buses were no longer running. Winter night. During a blizzard. It was crazy and I must have almost died. But I did it.”

Algis, 43 years old

This is the difference between "like activity" and "love activity".

The first one is very easy to find - all you have to do is open a job directory, apply for the first job that comes up and BOOM! It is very possible that your activity is for you will like. Until you find a better one or reduce your salary by a few euros, when other activities, magically, you will like more.

But found Beloved activities... One that not only carries 100 % instead of 50, that doesn't require you to look for motivation every morning, that stays with you for more than three days...

…This is more complicated. This will require examining what we have done so far, what we are doing now, what we would like to do in the future... And find what is personally most important to you. Two, three or four things that can be called yours Love.

Of course, love changes. Like you, I guess you already know that. But each of our loves comes from the fulfillment of the same core desires of ours. And they also learned something new about ourselves.

But when the difference is between an activity that will impress you for just a day (or activities that won't impress you at all) and an activity that will impress you long and hard... I, personally, choose love. 🙂

Better question:
So how do I discover an activity I fall in love with?

There are two reasons why you usually don't find your true love.

And yes, I know, two reasons? Only? That sounds… Little!

However, it is true that although one can invent more reasons, this division is much more useful. Especially when it comes to love, a feeling you can't usually explain. Simplicity is missing here.

These two reasons also apply to almost any definition of Love: work, occupation, food, or the same relationship with people.

This is the difference between too much and too little:

  1. Too little love…
  2. …Or too much love.

But let me explain further.

The first reason: Too little love.

Imagine you get hit by a car on your way to work one day. Miraculously, you don't break any bones, but you hit your head and you lose your memory.

What would you like to do?

Go into this question and think for a moment. What would you like to do... If you don't have a single thought in your head, what at all you could to do

This is uncertainty when there are too few thoughts.

We are born without a single thought in our heads.

And only later do we learn what we like and what we don't.

Sometimes we forget when we get stuck in a circle - for example, when I was studying civil engineering and writing my bachelor's thesis for three months, I had nothing else on my mind except work. After I graduated, I was lost and didn't know what I wanted from life for a week.

But that's not the fun part. You've probably heard all that shakar markar about how to find your goals and the like.

The second reason: Too much love.

And this reason is more common these days than the first. And I specifically wrote this second one so that after reading the first one, you might think that "yeah, really, I don't know anything because I don't have enough ideas."

But these days we have another problem: an abundance of choices and freedom. Instead of doing one thing (for example, if you are a woman, just 60-80 years ago it was unfathomable how you could do anything more than be a mother and run the house), we have the freedom to do many things. And start even more - a few things every day.

But how many of those things do we complete? How many of those things give us a return? After all, unfinished work does not bring returns - no one pays for half-done work. No one appreciates a half-built house. No one will say that you did a great speech on stage if it's only half of it, and you lost the other half and ran off to learn how to make pancakes.

You can get used to the abundance of ideas, suggestions, possibilities, freedoms and choices. And to be honest, most of us are already used to it. Because we live in a country where we are free.

And so there's the other side, limitation. And how to purify the four things that drive your life.

So, imagine waking up in your bed again…

There are three possible thought engines running in your head:

  1. We know our goals and desires, so we get up and do it.
  2. We know nothing, so we do nothing.
  3. Or we think that we know something, we try... And in the end we still don't achieve anything, because we had so many desires. Choosing a good idea in this case is not difficult. It is more difficult to fulfill it to the end.

And if a option we are happy (that is, if you are in this situation - you do not need this book), b and c in the choices - we are not. In the former there is no happiness in this moment, and in the latter there will be no happiness in the future when we realize that we have wasted our time.

So. Time to do something.

And what is my situation?
Do I have too many choices or too few?

Well, that's a question you'll have to answer. Think about what has happened more often in your life these days (or in the last month):

  • Loads of options and piles of half-finished (but still unfinished) work?
  • And maybe... Life without seeing any chances and possibilities at all?
  • Hundreds of activities that you like, but none that really impressed?
  • And maybe... This is one activity that endure, and all others simply horrible?
  • That's an abundance of choices?
  • Or complete emptiness?

Answer that for yourself. And pick one.

Maybe you already know the answer, then we can move on to the next part where we will solve these problems. However, if you still don't know who is closer to you, take a break. Put this book aside for a day and mark your calendar to come back later. Then take a look at your current life and choose one of these answers.

And no, you can't choose some third answer "it happens to me either way". If, however, situations change (which is very normal!), then choose what suits you this very moment. In the future, if the situation changes, you can always come back to this book and look at it from a different angle after reading it.

So we can travel as soon as you are ready.

And I'll start from the very beginning: What would a baby do in your case?

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