Goal of the day: 548 words. Written: 631.
There is a myth that writers only write good things. I call myself a writer, sometimes I write, so... And I write not so good things. Such, for example, which I do not publish at all.
Let's make it a trash cleanup day. I will share the old texts that I wrote so that I can remember and recover them myself a long dead thought.
(These texts are transcribed from endless notebooks during the second month with writing. I also edited them a little and the editor Agnė (save me from spelling sins) finished editing them.)
October 1, 2014.
October came unexpectedly.
Maybe because the last month was full of unforgettable experiences - the first weeks in Erasmus, new relationships with new people, friends and girlfriends. And a whole bunch of extra adventures.
For September, I had a goal not to change or get angry for the whole month. I don't know how, but I managed not to get angry without even trying too hard. Maybe the articles on the nature of anger and how to avoid it that were eagerly read in August influenced this. Maybe it was influenced by the fact that I changed my environment and (for the time being) got rid of probably the most annoying people in my daily life - my parents. Maybe it was influenced by the fact that the environment made us forget our anger. Or maybe I grew up. I don't know.
Today (tonight, to be more precise - I'm writing this text, and the clock shows half past three in the morning) is the day of a new challenge, and I don't know which one I'll take on.
I'm thinking about a month without a phone. Or a month with sports. Or a month with jogging or walking. Or what else? What I choose - I still don't know. Tomorrow morning I hope to find out. I will consult with friends, acquaintances, my own makaule and decide.
Tomorrow is the day of a new challenge. The eleventh crazy month is about to begin.
October 2, 2014.
So, today I started the challenge without a face book and with a hundred new acquaintances. In one month of October. It's crazy. But I do it. That's me, probably.
am i afraid Ofcourse!
Am I going to at least try to do it? That's clear too!
Will I succeed? I have no idea!
... After all, I will be able to count heads only at the end of the month.
October 10, 2014.
The main character: a girl who almost dies after a tragic event and realizes that she wants to change her tragic life. You want to change your life. You want to get out of the vortex of drugs, crazy sex, infidelity, unemployment, cheap prostitution and "real life".
She was never an open, sociable girl, she was brutally beaten in childhood by her mother who envied her beauty. Since then, she has been ashamed of her natural beauty and avoids growing her hair, dying it, cutting it, getting tattoos and having millions of piercings in obscure places. Her body is covered with small and large wounds from the past, and it is only after the accident, when she wakes up in a hospital bed, that she realizes what happened.
She realizes that she doesn't want to live like this anymore. And decides to change it. But it's hard, it's crazy hard. Her family does not recognize her, she has no real friends, she has never had a normal, non-abnormal boyfriend, let alone education, work, the meaning of life and everything else.
But she tries. She tries very hard. And the world gives in to her little by little. She is not rushing to run to another country. She stays where she was and tries to fix what she did in her life. Sometimes this is not possible. Sometimes it is very difficult. Sometimes she succeeds. And the world is getting better little by little.
However, while living a new life, after a few months, six months, a year, she begins to notice that life is not the same as it always was. He is different. It is almost unreal.
When she starts to feel happy, when she, having changed herself and realized her mistakes, finds a true friend, a true joy in life, the meaning of her life to help others and finds someone she can really love, not like the guys of the past... Everything repeats itself. And a fast-moving mountain full of light, noise and gasoline appears in front of our eyes.
* * *
…And as you can see, I didn't write every day in October. The first third of the month, and that's it!
...And how can you not see I am ashamed at this moment. I wish I had written better then. Good thing I didn't share these texts. Well, until today. 🙂
Tomorrow I will unearth the second half of the texts *rolls up my sleeves*.
who wrote nonsense,
Daniel
Renewed: The continuation is here: https://debesyla.lt/uzrasai/2017/03/irgi-pradejau-nuo-nesamoniu/