Why do guys look at you but not say hello?

courage relationships
Reflections and drafts

Ah, those guys… Why don't they speak first? Why not come to you?


They are scared 🙂

And even those who are confident - even they are scared.

  • ...Because they're sane and don't think that every woman is interested in them.
  • ...Because you don't want to be that weirdo you tell your friends about, the one who's been sneaking up on you without you asking.
  • ...Because to them, you're just beautiful, interesting, cool... And they can't think of anything else to say in that moment other than "you're very beautiful". And you realise how idiotic that sounds - the guys realise you've heard it a million times.
  • ...Because they don't know how to approach, how to start a conversation, what to do. Did you think there are secret classes in schools where guys learn how to gossip with hot girls?
  • ...Because, perhaps, he's not even interested in you that day, because there's something else on his mind, in that moment. But let's put that option aside for the moment.

The boys are scared like you. Just.

...Well, there are some guys who aren't afraid to gossip. But there are two kinds:

  1. He's not afraid to gossip because he's a serial womanizer - he changes women like socks and can seduce anyone. And he does it often.
  2. He pretends not to be afraid to speak because he has learned from the Alpha males to be fast, to go first and to be Jesus.

But the others... All of them, the ones that remain. The normal ones.

They're people too.

So what do you do to get guys to talk to you first?

No, don't worry, you don't need some super complicated plan. And I don't even recommend thinking about one. All that nonsensical "go out with another guy and make him jealous" stuff is... Well, it will only attract suitably nonsensical guys.

Just smile. Wink.

I remember a friend of mine telling me how he met his wife.

He was at an office party. Nothing special. He was standing by the coffee machine... He looked around the room... His eyes found her. For a moment. For two. For three. She noticed. And blinked. Just. He winked back - just out of the kidney! ...After the coffee, he had a plan - he now had a reason to go and say hello to this woman who had winked at him.

Guys don't talk to women they don't know BECAUSE they don't know how to approach them. And you give him a reason. Wink. Smile. Invite him to sit at your table in the café if you're brave. In a busy auditorium, point to an empty seat next to you.

...Or come first. You can. And some guys are fascinated by women who aren't afraid to say hello and don't wait for someone to admire them.

(After all, it's more fun for you when your boyfriends are active, isn't it? That said, men don't like women who stand/lay like planks. Some, of course, do, but... In a word, see how you like it. You will find your man. Trust me.)

Finally... Relax.

You don't have to woo guys. And guys don't have to be attracted to you.

It's just a game. Have fun!

P.S. Don't be afraid, if you like unusual guys, guys like unusual women. You'll find someone who likes you.

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