My most important boundaries: NUTs way of self-knowledge

365 texts methods self-knowledge
Reflections and drafts

Goal of the day: 1439 words. Written: 353.

When I was just starting my growth journey, I started with a whole range of self-help methods. Effective and not so effective. One of the not-so-effective ones was the Art of Manliness blog List of "Boundaries to be crossed".

This list is for you to clarify for yourself your beliefs and the rules you are not going to break.

In other words, such a list should not only help you to understand yourself better, but also to understand others, to become stronger and more self-confident.

...It didn't work very well for me. Although I made a list, I didn't feel any effect.

Here's my list, written in 2013:

To be added as and when required:

  • I don't give in to my addictions.
  • I only apologise when I'm sure I need to apologise. Not just to please others.
  • I say what I think.
  • If there are any problems, I say so straight away. Immediately, without waiting.
  • I am not going to let fear stop me from achieving my goals.
  • I'm not going to let someone waste my time. My time is most important to me.
  • If I don't like something, I say so. I'll change it to something I like.
  • I am trying to find a compromise. If there is no compromise, I try again. Until I succeed.
  • I'm faithful to my girlfriend.
  • I'm not going to lie to my friends just to make them feel better.
  • I will tell the truth. As much as I can. If I can't, I won't say anything.
  • I always make time for my work. As much as possible.
  • I will get what I want. Even though I don't know the end goal itself, I will definitely achieve the intermediate goals.
  • I want to be someone people can trust. I will be.
  • I will try and try to become better. As much as possible.
  • I decide what I want to do and what I don't.
  • I want to write and I will write. Because I love it.
  • If I promised, really promised, I will keep it.
  • I only accept promises as promises when I say the word "promise".
  • I am not going to tolerate anyone disrespecting my friends or acquaintances.
  • I respect intelligent people.
  • I understand that not all my choices are good, but I want to have the power to choose. I can always choose differently. And I choose.
  • I try to help my family and friends in any way I can...
  • ...As long as it doesn't interfere with my work, plans or wishes.
  • I only give when I want to. You won't get a bespoke gift from me.

I am a little ashamed of what I wrote then. But, well, it was 2013 - the beginning of my journey.

...Or maybe the N.U.T.s list would help you more?

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