It became difficult for me to speak

courage self-knowledge
Reflections and drafts

It's hard because I don't feel like Daniel anymore. I feel different. Different. Old topics are gone... And I feel the pressure. Fear. Loneliness. Caution.

Pressure from my imaginary readers who want the same thing they have already tasted, but I can't serve it again because my recipe has changed.

Fear that I am no longer good enough, interesting enough, useful enough to say something. Am I just wasting your time?

Loneliness, because I haven't yet found a connection with my inner critic - the reader, to whom I dedicate my texts. (You know, I don't mean you when I talk about you - I mean this imaginary consumer.)

Caution, because I don't-know where I'm going at the moment.

Do I want to talk again?

Yes. But I don't know what about. I don't know what I want to say. I just know that I feel good when I talk, so... I should probably go on?

...Or is it a sign that I am only saying things that please me and do not benefit others?

I don't know.

I just found it difficult to speak.

For about two years now, a year and a half...

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