I want to tell you a story about Miss Valia and a boy named Habit. About how they met.
It is told by a cloud dweller Ernest, personal coach.
Once upon a time there lived a strong, elegant and intelligent Miss Valia. She had many hobbies, friends and other various activities. She played sports, studied, worked, socialized, and had a good time. Attended courses, events and improved. Valia managed to do all the chores, tidy up, go shopping, prepare meals, take out the garbage. She could move mountains in one day. It was often difficult only in the evenings. After a long day, she definitely needed a good rest. It was also necessary to get some sleep so that she would be ready to conquer the world again the next day.
One evening she was late at work. He didn't sleep that night, so the next day was very difficult. And the next few days are even harder. Thus, she missed several training sessions, did not have time to prepare food for tomorrow, and started eating fast food. Gained weight. Order at home quickly evaporated. Piles of unwashed dishes, unwashed clothes and always an unmade bed. On weekends, she devoted more and more time to relaxation. Usually with a large pizza, lots of friends and alcohol.
Thus, during one party, in the company of friends, she met the always tense, smiling young man Uprotis. They became friends and had a good time. Habit was a nice guy who played sports, worked and was involved in many different activities. He was also on time everywhere, he didn't miss training not only in the gym, but he also had time to train his brain.
The guy ate well, attended various courses, spent time with his friends. He had his own business, he found time for everything. Whatever problems arose, he solved them here and now. Therefore he lived well. If he didn't sleep that day, he planned his work the next day in such a way that there would be time for a midday nap. Thus Habit balanced everything to the maximum and continued to pursue his vision and dreams. He worked long hours, but never forgot to feel happy and enjoy the present - the journey towards his dreams.
One evening they agreed to meet at Valia's house. The lady worked all day until she organized her things, shoes, dresses, and other things. She didn't even wear many of her clothes, she just kept them in the closet. When Habit came to visit, he immediately noticed the coziness of the house. The house was full of souvenirs, figurines, magnets and other small things. The walls are hung with pictures. The apartment was big, but it was full of closets and shoe boxes to fit all the things.
When they sat down at the table, Valia started preparing dinner. While serving the dinner, he asked Usupis from which plate he would like to eat. He chose. He asked because he had 4 different sets of dishes. Also spoons, forks and countless different cups, which also benefited from a large kitchen with lots of cupboards.
After dinner, they went for a walk in the city. While Úprotis gave her full attention while communicating, Valia's phone kept ringing and she was constantly checking it. After apologizing, she continued the conversation. Thinking a little later, she asked Habit why nothing bothers him? After all, nowadays it is impossible without the Internet and social networks.
The habit smiled beautifully and answered that during meetings, work or other activities, he turns on airplane mode. By the way, all social network messages and their sounds are turned off. That way he can enjoy the moment without being distracted. And when he has time, he logs in and reads the messages when he wants, not when the phone reminds him. Valia nodded her head (she momentarily thought "what a freak"). Habit accompanied Valia to her house, they greeted each other and wished each other good night.
At the next meeting, they were guests of Habit. Habit was important that day. Several important meetings, he was late at work. He still needed to exercise, but everything was planned from the evening. After all, when the evening came, he didn't have to worry about getting ready and shopping before their meeting. Habit without any stress, just took out the trash and prepared dinner because the house was tidy.
Valia was very surprised when she entered, his apartment was small, but very spacious. There was plenty of space for shoes and a coat hanger in the hallway. Habit apparently pulled out the phone and left it in the hall cabinet drawer. Following him, she also acted jealously. In the house, there were plants in several places, instead of pictures, there were several boards with sticky notes and notes, planned works and ideas. One small closet in the bedroom. In which several clothes were neatly hung.
Valia immediately wondered why he had so few wardrobes, clothes and other things. He smiled and answered that so that he would not have to make many decisions. This way he always remains energetic, does less laundry, has a lot more space at home and most importantly in his head. He had just 3 different clothes for each "occasion", walking around the house, work, meetings and entertainment.
Valia felt comfortable at his home, but without waiting for anything, she asked again why he had only a few plants and no pictures or souvenirs. The habit revealed that in order for him to be able to devote himself to his dream as much as possible and at the same time have a lot of time, he tries to be a minimalist. Therefore, he has as few things as possible at home. Souvenirs and gifts are simply photographed and given to someone. That way he has everything and can admire it whenever he wants. At the same time, those things do not take up space in his house and head.
After sitting down at the table, without asking anything, he served Valia a delicious dinner, after finishing the meal he immediately washed the dishes and the kitchen looks exactly as it did before the dinner. Valia was hoping to watch a movie, but there was no TV at home. Habit unexpectedly offered her to watch a movie in the cinema. After choosing a movie in a few minutes, they got dressed and left. When they left, the house was just as tidy as it was before the guests arrived.
As we continued to communicate, Valia kept asking Upratis how he manages everything and has so much free time. He always answered her with a smile that he didn't have to try, he did most of his actions automatically. He emphasized my habits. This way I never feel tired because I hardly remember any decisions. And when the moment comes to accept them, if something goes wrong, then I use my will. Which I have full, because I hardly use it during the day.
Also, my environment does not force me to use it either at home or at work. For example, at my house you will usually only find fruit, I always eat healthy and balanced food. Because I dedicate a few hours a week to it and prepare food for several days. When I get home from work, I just heat up the food, I don't have to think about what to buy anymore. I don't waste an hour every day at the store, looking for a place to park my car, waiting in line. I also go to the gym immediately after work, because I have already prepared a backpack with sports clothes from the evening. I just do everything automatically.
Valia asked how he cultivates those habits, because she has tried, but after 3-4 days or when work attacks, she just doesn't have time for them anymore. Everything is very simple, he said, the most important thing is to understand what that habit is.
Habits
That it consists of 3 parts - cue, routine and reward, that you need to develop habits one by one, slowly, until it becomes automatic and only then move on to others. For example, if you want to start playing sports and continue it throughout your life. You should not focus on the habit of exercising, but recognize and choose a cue that is already in your life, for example: returning from work ( hint ). Then, in the first weeks, concentrate and devote all your energy to going to the room, changing into sports clothes. For filling a water bottle, backpack on shoulders and straight to the hall ( routine ).
After a while you will notice that when you come home after work ( hint ) will become easier and easier, almost without spending energy on it, you will do it automatically. You will get dressed and fill the bottle, backpack on your shoulders and you are already on your way to the hall ( routine ). I guarantee you will even feel amazing and if you accidentally miss the gym one day you will start to feel that something is wrong in your life.
The role of reward in habit formation is used to further strengthen the habit after it has been performed. In this case, you can prepare a healthy dinner for yourself after sports. Or allow yourself to watch an episode of your favorite series or read a few paragraphs of your favorite book ( reward ). Although most of the time you already feel good after sports due to the load of various happy hormones. Always include this when developing a habit healthy reward him I emphasize again - healthy!
Science shows that after a habit becomes automatic, our behavior is no longer driven by internal goals and motivation. YES, you no longer need motivational videos or quotes to get you moving to the gym.
Maintaining habits for life
And how to keep these habits for a long time, Valia asked without waiting for anything. In order to maintain habits, he continued with a smile, Habit, it is important to understand the habit itself. If it is huge, it will seem to you that it will be difficult or almost impossible to train it. To prevent this from happening, I will give you an example.
If a person wants to lose weight and has been planning for several years, he decides that he will start training 6 times a week for 2 hours and start drinking 3 liters of water from this magical day. Will also follow an ideal diet ( there are none ), this will seem like an enormous mission. Therefore, there is a huge chance that you will throw it away after a week.. But if you decide to start very simply. For example, go for a walk every day 15 minutes before dinner for a month. Then after this time you can decide again "hey, I'll walk 45 minutes for the next month". Then you can try a little more, like running, I promise, you won't even know when you buy a subscription to the gym or dance for the whole year ahead and train 6 times a week. At the same time, you will enjoy it and talk to everyone around you to do the same, you will be an example. The key it is to start with small steps.
A few more tips, although consistency in this case is the direct key to developing a habit. Accidentally missing a day here or there won't ruin or break your chain of good habits. Therefore, do not punish and do not be angry with yourself for this! Don't feel bad if you miss a workout or eat pizza. The whole point is to get back on track the next day and continue what you set out to do. And don't forget that we are all different, for some it may take 7 days, for others 60 days, so create an action plan for yourself knowing your weaknesses and step by step replace bad habits with good ones.
A few words about will
Jonathan Franzen's saying, you won't create anything decent, you won't write it using a computer with internet access. A lesson not to think of your goal as the last stop. But you would create the conditions and environment so that failure to achieve the goal would be impossible.
So when losing weight, visit the shops less and keep only healthy, balanced food at home, lots of vegetables and fruits, in this case you will pamper yourself in a healthy way even if you are broke.
After thanking him for so many eye-opening answers, Valia hugged Upratis, thanked him and left for home.
Dear reader, thank you for your precious time! If you liked the article, share it with your friends, help them.
Apply this to your life and what habit will you develop yourself?
- Personal trainer Ernest