And how do you manage to communicate with citizens of the opposite (or same) sex? Yes, I know this is a personal question, but I was wondering - do you have sweaty palms too? (Or hooves?)
In today's interview I am talking I see (or Matt Weyland) who for a long time in his life had a VERY hard time getting a girl he liked or even finding a girl who wouldn't freak out after three seconds.
However, this has changed for the better. Matas studied and grew.
And today he will tell you about his challenge, during which daily had to ask at least 3 nice girls each, 30 consecutive days.
Yes, it would be a joke to some people. And today it is not difficult for Mata himself. But it used to be a big challenge…
…And this is how he overcame it:
Hello Matt! First, introduce yourself. In five sentences or less - who are you?
I am the author of coachingas.lt. Since I was a teenager, I have been interested in comprehensive self-development, and especially in the psychology of communication. Previously, in the Weyland Life project, I counseled men on issues of communication with girls and self-confidence. Now I just live for the day and try to help those who want my help.
Do you often challenge yourself? Where would you place yourself on a ten-point scale from the cowardly Nuobodila to the superhero Batman?
Every year I do at least one challenge of a month or longer. Others worth mentioning are meditation every day for an hour for a month, not eating meat for the same month, and completely abstaining from alcohol for a year (2014!).
How would I rate myself on this scale of "heroes"? I think Forest Gump would be the closest, I just do what feels right and good at the time and don't think too much about the consequences. For some it is a challenge, for me it is a way of life, self-knowledge.
Tell us what challenge you took on and what were the rules?
The challenge, which I've done a total of three times, I'm sure some will find funny, silly, weird, or otherwise.
So the essence of my challenge was to ask out 3 girls I don't know who like me every day.
The minimum goal is a conversation, the maximum goal is how much the girl likes me. Such a challenge is usually done for about 30 days. After each day I analyzed my spells, looking for mistakes and room for improvement.
And why did you choose this challenge?
After finding the pickup community, putting the new knowledge into practice, I found that it really works. I wanted to improve faster and faster, to feel freer in the company of attractive girls, to be a man who can choose the girls he wants instead of waiting for them to choose.
Overall, how did you go about achieving your goal?
The first one was really wow. Lots of dates, adventures or otherwise pleasant interactions with beautiful girls. There were also very difficult days when I felt tragic and girls ignored me, but I think that's when the most realizations came.
The challenge required a lot of willpower and discipline, because as I mentioned it wasn't just hanging but also analyzing what I did wrong, where I went wrong and so on, but everything worked out, just like I planned.
The second "marathon" was more successful in terms of results, because I was already more experienced, but I didn't learn much, the third one showed me that it's time to change again and go for quality, and quantity...
But what stood in your way the most? So what did you do when it was hard and you wanted to throw everything away?
Interrupted by… family.
My relatives didn't understand me and didn't want to understand me, but I still did my thing and I don't regret it at all.
I never wanted to leave. When things got tough, I meditated, looked for reasons why I felt bad, or just said "fuck it" and let it go.
How did you feel after completing the challenge? Did you achieve what you initially hoped for? And what did you learn during the challenge?
I have achieved more than I thought I could. I felt great. I realized that my mood depends only on me, not on others or the environment. I even became stronger psychologically in general.
I would dare to say that I even matured a little while running after skirts, because only after tasting those pleasant sensations, you start to look at them as a part of life, and not a miracle for the chosen ones.
Do you have any advice for people who want to repeat or surpass your adventure?
Preparation and determination. You have to promise yourself that you will finish the challenge no matter what - that is, you will not let your complexes, doubts and fears overwhelm you, but you will just go step by step towards the goal.
Pain is part of progress.
Choosing the right "technique" is also important, because there are millions of interviewing methods, but only a couple of them will work for you.
Soooooo… What challenge will you take on now? Already have ideas or secret desires?
Really so. I think the next challenge will be writing. I love doing this and I know people love the information I share, so I'll have to force myself to do it everyday, not just when I'm lazy 🙂
Thanks for the story See!
Well, I'm not going to comment on the techniques of interviewing girls (or guys)... But it seems that Matas has just repeated the old truth - through suffering to the stars. And also the sweet fruits of the bitter roots of science, or something like that.
I don't use any hanging techniques myself because I believe honesty is best - even if you're an ugly old horseradish in your own way. After all, through communication, that ugliness is treated and cured!
And among other things, at the end:
- About his challenge in general meeting new people in Lithuania Antanas from Debesy gave an interview;
- And my chef Daniel has written a long, long, book-worthy one a guide on how to learn how to communicate with people.
I hope it helps you readers!
yours,
Pig Antanas