Rasa Norbutė (Venckutė) – a psychologist who founded a well-known Lithuanian self-development community: "lynx". But don't be afraid if you don't know Lynx - Rasa, you will get to know her soon.
I met Ras when my blog was still small, I didn't know how to write or speak, and after seeing an announcement about her upcoming trainings, I offered to interview her. This interview, which you will be able to hear soon, is my first attempt at interviewing.
...Why am I saying this? Not because I want to draw attention to myself.
You see, Rasa created the "Lūšie" training so that Lithuanian people who want to start something new would have a basis: a community where they could openly communicate, share, and support. Should have knowledge. Practical exercises. Stairs.
Later, I copied some of my teaching techniques from Rasa. Because Rasa knowledge works. And that's why... I present to you:
🐈 Nevyniosiu: how did you end up in psychology?
I grew up in a village, in a simple family. When I was little, I spent a couple of years in a sanatorium, maybe I learned to think furiously and ask all kinds of questions there?
In the tenth grade, I came across a psychological book, after reading it I immediately realized that I wanted to be a psychologist more than an entrepreneur. A few years later, after reading that book, I was surprised: what made it so special to me at that time? Apparently, the book itself was not so moving, but it showed that what I think about so often is a broad science.
This personal experience often reminds me that information does not necessarily have to be exclusive, new and of high quality. Sometimes it's enough to just read one thought or get into the right situation and everything in your mind blossoms with enlightenment.
🐈 And how did "Lūšie" training come about? Did you think that Lithuanians lacked such a program when there are many different English ones?
Just as apples leave the apple tree when they are ripe, the Lynx program was born for me. The beginning was when I came up with the idea of creating such a continuing program for my colleagues. Only she was alive and quickly reincarnated into the online "Lush".
Before releasing the Lynx, I was overwhelmed by many questions:
- How to create unbreakable strategies leading to change?
- What do people need to get stronger faster and easier?
- How to simplify that strengthening and turn it into an enjoyable game?
It seems that the spirit of the Lynx was following me, sticking its curious tail into my activities. Over time, I realized that I wanted to create a self-contained web-based tool that would connect many people to work together and benefit from the healing effect of the community. That's how the Lynx was born.
I don't know what Lithuanians lack the most - I probably haven't traveled enough to be able to make an intelligent comparison. And Lithuanians are different, like different apples from the same apple tree. But for many, self-confidence is an important obstacle and at the same time a goal.
...A few years ago, I conducted a small online survey, according to the results of which, self-confidence is one of the most desirable qualities of our compatriots, but there seems to be a lack of time and preparation to strengthen this quality.
🐈 So that's why self-confidence? Rather than, say, achieving goals or something like that?
Everything here is very connected - start strengthening any of the personal areas and others will start to strengthen. Personality is like a network of overlapping, intersecting, subordinate qualities.
However, I pay special attention to self-confidence. I would call it the source and essential condition of many desirable qualities and habits. Of course, as a result...
If we trust ourselves, we achieve our goals much more easily, work more efficiently, solve problems more effectively, communicate more closely with others and ourselves, love and allow ourselves to be loved. Yes, self-confidence protects us from the unhealthy attachment or over-sensitivity that makes us look only for people who treat us nicely.
“What if not assuredness, motivates us? Only when we feel strong can we stop being afraid of all kinds of things that might never happen."
Rasa Norbute
No matter how many articles or sermons we absorb, they will not benefit us as much as they could. If we have too little self-confidence, no amount of success tips will help. We just won't be able to accommodate them…
In addition, when we feel strong, we need much less instruction - we naturally find solutions to our problems and paths to our dreams. True, you need to trust not only yourself, but also others.
🐈 And what does your new beast - Active Lynx - strengthen?
"Active Lūšis" will enrich activities and everyday life. Interesting activities and happy everyday life naturally lead you forward. It is an inexhaustible source of true happiness and inspiration. They encourage you to dream, plan and try until you succeed. They engage and do not let go.
Attention to details, awareness, minimalism, discoveries, desired habits, daily rituals, closeness with yourself and others fills everyday life with joy, fulfillment and relaxation.
For example, many successful people start their morning with meaning.
- Benjamin Franklin waking up early (4 o'clock in the morning), actively asked himself what he had to do today.
- Oprah Winfrey meditates for 20 minutes, oh Arianna Huffington - for a full half hour.
- Richard Branson exercise and eat a healthy breakfast.
- Josh Waitzkin (chess genius and world tai chi champion) keeps a diary trying to understand subconscious discoveries made during sleep.
- Lady Gaga doing yoga and positive affirmations.
- Steve Jobs looked at himself in the mirror and asked if today was the last day of his life, would he want to do what he had planned, and if the answer was no for several days in a row, he made serious changes.
Meanwhile, what do 80 percent of people do in the first 15 minutes of the morning? They are checking their phones! So that's why I believe that engaging, interesting work and an inspiring routine can heal better than a psychologist, self-help books or just another training.
🐈 So what is happening in that "Lūši"? Probably a serious sauna?
Successive reincarnation into the Lynx takes place. A participant registers for some obscure program, then goes through a long selection and an even longer path to the start of the program. In the program space, he finds everything he needs to start his manic development.
First of all, they are very different tasks. They differ in complexity, involvement, subject matter. One day the Lynxes are trying to buy rice at the bank, the next day they are analyzing and stroking their fears on paper, the next day they are having an open conversation with a friend, and the next day they are rapidly expanding their thinking and problem-solving powers.
- Some tasks are done daily - this is how habits are formed.
- Another part of the tasks is embedded in daily activities - this not only saves the participants' time, but also strengthens their awareness, ability to observe themselves and change their behavior in real time: here and now.
- The rest of the tasks have three levels of difficulty and correspond to the usual perception of the tasks - these are self-examination or action tasks that take more time. Thus, the Lynx invades inside the Lynxes from all fronts and changes their lives every moment of the present.
When performing tasks, participants obey certain laws that ensure effective development, weaken psychological defense mechanisms, help make friends with other participants, and involve striving to the tip of the tail. Game-like, unique, daily monitoring of progress, management and systematic self-reflection also help to achieve change.
However, to make it easier and more fun for them, the whole program resembles a new life with new friends. The lynxes support each other, pet each other and sometimes make fun of each other or me in unison.
For me, the Lynx reminds me of an accelerated life: success and failure, happiness and tears, challenges and peace, friendship and competition, freedom and duty live together with Lynxes. It is safer in the lynx than in life, so here you can more confidently experiment with yourself and your behavior.
Almost all feedback from participants is very good or excellent. It can't be otherwise, because Lynxes are very attached to their fur and reach everything themselves with their claws. The tyrants achieve less, which is satisfying for both them and me. Not everyone has the time and energy for intensive development, and the program adapts to this. So - what one sows, that is what he reaps.
As my grandmother (still) tells me - you reap what you sow:
🐈 You have mentioned in the training blog that you are constantly reading books and attending seminars. What books and instructors have influenced you the most?
I was already fed up with the wisdom of others. When you start listening to the wind in your head, your own imagination starts to be enough. But at the moment my winds have calmed down, so I start listening to strangers - I'm back to books again.
I was influenced by more than one book. As a teenager, I imitated the behavior of book characters with great devotion for a while - I was particularly fond of copying the main character of The Godfather book.
A few popular psychology books also crept into me. I used to write various tips in a thick diary. Later I started creating them myself. Then I would read and look for the contradictory, the stupid and the naive.
In general, I only read books on psychology, psychotherapy, healthy living, logic and sometimes medicine. Fiction reminds me of living someone else's life - and I'm very focused on my own.
"And I don't have anything to advise the others, because I don't know in which field they are new - surely not in life?"
You have your own specific problem or aspiration - read such books. Even if one less valuable one comes across, it will also encourage thinking and searching for answers - sometimes it bears more fruit than "quality" information.
I think that now many people, especially young people who are looking for themselves, generally overestimate the importance of information, books, training, seminars. More important than quality information is the practical application of that information, everyday curiosity, constant interest, abundance of experiences.
It is valuable to go through popular advice such as "live here and now", "do only one job at a time", "love yourself", "leave your comfort zone" with an indifferent and arrogant look - try to do the opposite. A lot of fun.
And finally, I feel like it's time to forget that someone else—from a book, the Internet, or the left side of the couch—knows better how you need to live. Believe in yourself, your thoughts and your advice to yourself and your life will believe in you.
🐈 Finally, I have such a selfish question - some cloud dwellers (understand me too...) dream of creating trainings, programs or other works themselves... What would you advise?
When the time comes, the line crosses itself. It's like giving birth to a child. You need to take care of the idea from its inception, create a close relationship with it, develop it and feel it. Then follows the difficult but pleasant stage of carrying the idea, taking care of it. When an idea matures, it is born.
A good idea is that painful thought that keeps popping into your head. Maybe from time to time you think that people are missing something and you know how to provide it? Perhaps you see some problem in society or in your close environment that no one is solving?
Look for sore spots - there's potential there.
🐈 Thanks for your honesty, Rasa!
What can I add here? If you have any additional questions for Rasa, hit me up as I'll encourage her to answer right here in the comments section below. Oh and... I invite you to join, try "Lūšis"!
Fake it till you make it.
I don't know how it is possible to have a lack of self-confidence, because now everyone communicates through the Internet, and through it it can be an eagle - omniscient,
And that self-confidence is such a thing, if you know what you're doing well, you trust, and if you don't, you don't. This is the same as if I jumped into mathematics and started explaining that they don't know how to calculate. There's one thing where you're confident, and there's one thing where you're a n00bas. Always, you can't be universal - unless you are a motivational chatterbox who chatters instead of doing something seriously, but nothing - there is demand, there will be supply - always so.
There is a saying: the one who doesn't teach himself teaches.
How much did she pay you to do her interview or can I advertise with you here for free? 🙂
Vygint, thanks for the thoughts. I will add them.
1) "I don't know how it is possible to have a lack of self-confidence, because now everyone communicates through the Internet, and through it it can be an eagle - omniscient," - maybe you can clarify how this proves that no one has a lack of self-confidence? Self-aggrandizement/importance/showing off/narcissism etc. usually just hides too little self-belief - as if compensating for it.
2) "And that self-confidence is such a thing, if you know what you're doing well - you trust, and if you don't - you don't." - if we always learn objectively and constructively from our experience, this would be true. But we form an opinion about our capabilities not only from knowledge, but also from other people's feedback about us, upbringing, communication with others, failures, our own fears, etc. 1. Do you know even one person who seems to know a lot in some field , but he himself evaluates it differently, belittles his knowledge/skills? 2. Do you know people who make up scares out of thin air? I think we all know each other and sometimes we ourselves are like that depending on the field: work, relationships, love, friendship, bed, stage matters.
3) "There are things where you are confident and there are things where you are n00bas." - I completely agree with you. Scientifically, self-confidence is usually considered a field-dependent characteristic, less often - as a general characteristic of character - the general average of such individual assessments, say.
4) "Always, you can't be universal" - I agree with you, I don't know from which interview place you got the idea that I aim to cultivate perfect mediocrity that shines everywhere.
5) "There is a saying: the one who does not teach teaches." - it happens, it happens. Specifically in my case, I thought before starting the training that I needed to improve myself to perfection. Then I changed my mind.
6) "How much did she pay you to do her interview or can I advertise with you here for free?" :-)" - Daniel, take an interview with Vygintas, I think you will hear a lot of interesting things from him. Well, take the money of course 😀
I haven't earned it yet.
Hey, Vygint, where's your confidence? 🙁
You tell me - you make this link. Anyway, my self-confidence is on the store shelves. 🙂
I've been waiting for questions from you for five days - it's not my fault that you're holding back. 😀
Ninja Sprite.
Amazing Rasa, I admire…!!!! Strong interview, all thoughts are original, true and authoritative...!!! He speaks what he feels and knows...sincerely and suggestively...And there is something to learn from...Thank you both very much...!