The text below is the first and oldest post by Debesyla, published on January 26, 2013. It is not updated or patched 1 and specially left as a memory. Debesyla started here.
1) You cannot change yourself
You need something to lean on, something to climb on, something to lift you higher. You can't lift yourself up, no way, it's like trying to grab yourself by the butt and lift yourself up - it's impossible no way*.
In order to change yourself, you need to make the change inevitable. You have to do it so that the environment forces you to change, no matter how scary it sounds. Examples are widely seen - remember that time when you were afraid to stand on the stage, and suddenly someone pushed you into it... Did you feel fear when you finished your speech? Maybe, but it was much smaller than before.
Previous thresholds help to cross new thresholds. Learn slowly and you won't notice how you became a master. The first two times do not listen to the desire to escape, the third time - accept and run away. Two times will be enough, the next test will last longer.
2) Be wrong, be wrong and be wrong again.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, Bob Marley once said**. Learn fast, learn so fast it hurts.
If you want to learn to scuba dive, throw your fancy cell phone into a shallow part of the lake, but not so shallow that you can reach it without diving. If you save - bravo, you saved your treasure.. And at the same time you learned to dive.. If, otherwise, you didn't save or accidentally drowned - well, it's okay, you'll try harder next time.
3) Don't try to brag to everyone about what you do.
I will not give the source of some studies*** According to knowledge, people who boasted to their friends that they were accomplishing some goal they had set (a variety of goals) more often "finished" the goal earlier than those who did not brag.
It is based on the fact that people who boasted received the blessings and encouragement of those around them more quickly, which encouraged the idea that the goal had already been largely achieved. In other words, the attention of those around you lulled you to fulfill your determined goal as it should be, thinking that you have already done what you need to do, you are done. Check for yourself when you try to quit smoking or start going to the gym - just don't mention it to anyone.
That's it for now, maybe in the future I will remember more useful theoretical information for those who will try to change themselves. Or those around you if you are so good at helping others achieve their goals. 😉
* Oh, the theory of relativity! The system itself does not move until it is moved by something from the outside.
** This is not true, A. Einstein said it. Although this may not be true either.
*** Yes, I'm too lazy to even bother to write something intelligent in this paragraph.
Not counting this warning.↩