Goal of the day: 496 words. Written: 616.
On November 3, 2014, I received a message from a girl whom I managed to admire. I've been dating this girl for about two years now, but for the last two months I've been infatuated. Maybe because I had gone to the Czech Republic and it was (sometimes) boring there.
She sent this message out of the blue to my blog Debesyla Facebook account. Anyway, I don't use it for such things, but... Well, what can admiration not do?
Here's what I got:
"Debesyla Debesyliauskas, here I have a question. Since you are so omniscient, I decided to ask you. Behold. I wanted to ask what should be done here if Petriukas did this, but my mother told me something else, so I'm asking why it should be, because I thought I'd ask you, because I don't know myself, I'm not omniscient that I need to do what she told me, but I don't know how. Well, this is about my porridge. How to bake it in the oven? Should you add scallion or dill? c:"
(By the way, I learned to use this emoticon from her - a small smiley c:)
Here's what I replied:
Madam, [censored], let me answer this question to you with all my sincerity and the knowledge I have gained from a long life in the Himalayas full of wisdom and sincerity. And yes, I've been there, but I guess you haven't. Isn't it wonderful to travel to the Himalayas? It's so wonderful! But you probably don't know that feeling because you haven't been there, and I have. After all, that is probably why you are not full of wisdom and ask such sincerely wise Cloudy questions. But pala, enough about you. Let's talk better about me. I've always loved my porridge. No, pala, I'm lying - I've never liked my porridge. So maybe I can't answer the question. But here's my answer, because I know everything, so why shouldn't I. I would add spelt to Petriuk's semolina porridge, because, well, it makes sense. You see the logic, don't you? That will be enough then. No more is needed. But anyway, since you probably don't see the logic, because you're not as wise and sincere as I am, Debesyla Debesyliauskas, here's an explanation that even you will understand. In my porridge, I would add plantains not only because I had never heard of such plants, but also for a very simple reason - so the first letter of the word is P. As in the words Papai, Putė, Pizda, Pimpalas, Penis and many similar ones. What does that mean, I hear you ask? Come on, let me use the logic learned in the Himalayan peaks. With whom no one dares to argue, so you won't either, I know you. You are not as smart and full of wisdom as I am - wonderful Debesyla Debesyliauskas. But again, enough about you. I would put plantains in Petriuk's porridge because the first letters of these words match and are the same P. Can you see? Let me show it more clearly so that even you can see. Well, I'm writing the word "Pelatrúnai" now. mouse Oh, I wrote something else. Well, you get the point - the first letter of the word Pelatruna is P and you can't argue with that. What is the letter P in the first name? Obviously, the first letter is Petriuk. Again it is logical and you can't argue now, because I am the wise honest Debesyla Cloudy here, and you, as we found out earlier (no need to thank me for my wise reminder), were not in the Himalayas when I was and I saw, and I know everything now. So I hope I answered your question. If you don't understand something, feel free to ask again, but don't expect me to answer, because I'm so wise here and you're not. Well, I'm still talking about you here, it's rude. But what will you understand here, after all, you are not me. With love, respect, and sexual, wisdom-filled fluids, I leave you on a new journey to the Himalayas.
Your Debesyla Cloud, aka omniscient, know-it-all, can't be argued with, so you won't argue now.
PS I love you.
She replied:
"I will not argue. But I will say: ah, what a perfect shud grind ❤
oops, sorry. must have been shit. I'm not that smart after all, because I can't even write such a word."
Of course, it impressed me.
miller,
Daniel