"Be the master of your desires and the slave of your conscience."
- Viktor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning
Once my friend Jurgita asked: "Daniel, what should you do when you want to change something, but you are afraid?" When you're used to a state that doesn't satisfy you, but it's okay to live in it the way it is?''
If she had asked me this about 5 years ago, when I first became interested in personal growth, I would have showered her with resounding phrases, motivating pictures and whatever this is. Perhaps then I would be loved and honored among women everyone for inspiring her to change.
Only then did I not know that more important than external motivation is the realization that maybe you don't need change at all.
What?
"Change yourself and become better," says a voice from motivational videos and advertisements for athletic running shoes. Well, what are you waiting for? Just do it! Be better! Now!
However: Is your constant growth really the way to go?
Here are two people:
a) Gedimina. He is not a pedestrian guy, he writes letters, invites merchants, cobblers and craftsmen to do business with us. His. And it keeps growing. Something constantly howls and barks in his soul or in his dreams in the form of Iron Wolves - "You can do more. You must not stop. Keep working, don't stop!".
(b) Buddha. Your familiar neighbor with a wide waist. He does not try to achieve more, and the voice of the Copper Eagle in his mind does not force him to grow - he only repeats: "Take your time, enjoy yourself, without today there will be no tomorrow, and what is tomorrow for you if you cannot enjoy this moment?".
The first is constantly growing, and the second is happy with what they have.
- The first is slaving for a better result, the second is lazy and thinks of more effective solutions.
- The first buys new training on how to become happier, the second relaxes and is satisfied with himself as he is.
- The first one plans an ideal future, the second one tries and learns already today.
- The former is never satisfied with himself, and the latter is always satisfied.
- The former is perhaps only the soul of funerals, the latter the soul of parties.
Because one of them just relaxes. And lives now.
…Remembering that everything always comes to an end.
Yes, indeed.
Change does not require magical growth. Not for you, not for anyone.
Or at least I don't see a reason for that. If you don't want to learn, grow, experiment, challenge yourself - I don't do it. And I won't until I realize I'm wrong. Or I'll go crazy.
So, Jurgita, if you want to change something, but are afraid... Maybe you don't want to change at all?
Maybe this desire is only instilled by dreaming wolves, and to say "no", let's face it, is scary? And then, if the desire is not yours - why do you try to forcefully accept it as your own? Why are you trying to give yourself Stockholm syndrome and love someone who is trying to kidnap and rape you?
Of course, I'm just asking questions.
But if I could go back five years and learn all over again, I'd enjoy the days that go by, do what I love, and look the "Aim More" wolf in the eye and say "yikes."
I would repeat this until the raping wolf was out of my house. And I could live. According to your desires. Happy and lazy.
I invite you to join.
yours
Daniel