Es tikai grib\u0113ju m\u012bl\u0113t.<\/p>\n
Tas ir viss, ko es grib\u0113ju.<\/p>\n
M\u012bl\u0113t Dot Sp\u012bd\u0113t.<\/p>\n
* * *<\/p>\n
Pavisam nesen uzrakst\u012bju v\u0113stuli meitenei, kuru, pa\u0161am neticot, iem\u012bl\u0113ju. Nu, vai es esmu vair\u0101k p\u0101rsteigts. V\u0113stul\u0113 vi\u0146ai atbild\u0113ju uz sev uzdoto jaut\u0101jumu \u2013 kas ir m\u012blest\u012bba?<\/p>\n
Es vi\u0146ai sniedzu tr\u012bs atbildes.<\/p>\n
\u2026Bet neviens no vi\u0146iem nebija \u012bsts. Tas, kuram es patie\u0161\u0101m tic\u0113ju. Es noklus\u0113ju savu atbildi.<\/p>\n
K\u0101p\u0113c? Es to nezinu. Varu tikai min\u0113t, ka varb\u016bt baid\u012bjos pateikt p\u0101r\u0101k daudz. Varb\u016bt es baid\u012bjos pateikt kaut ko t\u0101du, kas mani s\u0101pin\u0101tu n\u0101kotn\u0113. Varb\u016bt es negrib\u0113ju vilkt gar\u0101m v\u0113stuli, kas jau bija rekordgara\u2026<\/p>\n
Lai gan... laikam man bija bail. J\u0101. Galu gal\u0101 taj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b mani atkal p\u0101r\u0146\u0113ma Bezcer\u012bbas saj\u016bta.<\/p>\n
* * *<\/p>\n
Reiz\u0113m darba vid\u016b p\u0113c austi\u0146u spraud\u0146a izvilk\u0161anas no datora iesl\u0113dzu episko, p\u0101rdomas rosino\u0161u m\u016bziku... Tad kr\u012btu uz muguras gult\u0101, aizveru acis un sap\u0146oju.<\/p>\n
T\u0101pat k\u0101 es to \u0161obr\u012bd daru. Es apgu\u013cos. Izelpoju no plau\u0161\u0101m visu gaisu, izmetu sve\u0161as domas... Un \u013cauju idej\u0101m peld\u0113t, kur grib.<\/p>\n
Es aizveru acis.<\/p>\n
Es klausos "Gaismas karav\u012bru" ska\u0146u celi\u0146u no Game of Thrones. Ieelpotais gaiss ir smags, bet bez smar\u017eas, un gulta ir tik m\u012bksta, cik tai vajadz\u0113tu b\u016bt. Caur aizv\u0113rtajiem plaksti\u0146iem knapi redzu galda lampas gaismu, bet tas mani vairs netrauc\u0113.<\/p>\n
Es atgriezos sav\u0101 b\u0113rni\u0161\u0137\u012bgaj\u0101 \u0137ermen\u012b. J\u016btos atv\u0113rta, vienk\u0101r\u0161a un god\u012bga. es sap\u0146oju.<\/p>\n
\u2026Ka es m\u012blu meiteni.<\/p>\n
Un tad p\u0113c da\u017e\u0101m min\u016bt\u0113m es atkal atveru acis.<\/p>\n
* * *<\/p>\n
Lai gan mani neinteres\u0113ja t\u0101 zin\u0101tniskais pamatojums, esmu las\u012bjis, ka pasaul\u0113 ir tr\u012bs veidu cilv\u0113ki: \u0146\u0113m\u0113ji, dev\u0113ji un adapt\u0113t\u0101ji. Un saska\u0146\u0101 ar \u0161o tekstu nav t\u0101das lietas k\u0101 sliktais tips.<\/p>\n
1) Kas \u0146em - tie, kas \u0146em.<\/strong> Vi\u0146i v\u0113las daudz un cen\u0161as vair\u0101k. Ja iedosi, \u0146ems, jo ne\u0146emt b\u016btu stulbi.<\/p>\n \u0160ie cilv\u0113ki ir dzimu\u0161i, lai b\u016btu uz\u0146\u0113m\u0113ji un dz\u012bvotu klusu dz\u012bvi. Vi\u0146i vienm\u0113r sa\u0146ems to, ko v\u0113las. Vi\u0146i visur redz iesp\u0113jas un vienm\u0113r t\u0101s izmantos.<\/p>\n 2) Dev\u0113ji - tie, kas dod.<\/strong> Vi\u0146i dal\u0101s sev\u012b un sav\u0101 \u012bpa\u0161um\u0101, jo tikai t\u0101 vi\u0146i redz prieku. Ja pras\u012bs, dos, jo nedot b\u016btu stulbi.<\/p>\n \u0160ie cilv\u0113ki ir dzimu\u0161i par skolot\u0101jiem, \u0101rstiem, aktieriem, policistiem un citiem labdar\u012bt\u0101jiem. Vi\u0146i neredz j\u0113gu aizsarg\u0101t to, ko citi var izmantot lab\u0101k. Vi\u0146i atdos jebko, ja redz\u0113s, ka jums tas ir vajadz\u012bgs.<\/p>\n 3) Piel\u0101gojami - tie, kas tiecas p\u0113c vienl\u012bdz\u012bbas.<\/strong> Ja tu dod, vi\u0146i dos. Ja j\u016bs to pa\u0146emsiet, vi\u0146i to \u0146ems.<\/p>\n \u0160ie cilv\u0113ki ir dzimu\u0161i, lai b\u016btu... Nu, gl\u012bt\u0101kie un, iesp\u0113jams, vislab\u0101kie cilv\u0113ki. Vi\u0146i nekad nepras\u012bs p\u0101r\u0101k daudz. Un ar\u012b nekad nesp\u012bdiniet sevi p\u0101r\u0101k daudz, dodot.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Viss, ko es grib\u0113ju, bija m\u012blest\u012bba.<\/p>\n Apskauj vi\u0146u - to sap\u0146u meiteni... Un esiet kop\u0101.<\/p>\n Lai nesasm\u0113r\u0113tos k\u0101 taj\u0101s romantiskaj\u0101s film\u0101s. Nek\u0101das laiz\u012b\u0161anas, k\u0101 da\u017ek\u0101rt redzu jaunos p\u0101rus parkos. Pat neturoties rok\u0101s, k\u0101 es redzu vecus p\u0101rus tirdzniec\u012bbas centros.<\/p>\n Vienk\u0101r\u0161i apskauj vi\u0146u. \u0160aj\u0101 tum\u0161aj\u0101 dien\u0101 un gai\u0161aj\u0101 nakt\u012b. Gu\u013cus kaila, apsegta tikai ar vispl\u0101n\u0101ko segu. Un b\u016bt kop\u0101.<\/p>\n Run\u0101jiet un ziniet, ka vi\u0146a klaus\u0101s. Klus\u0113t un zin\u0101t, ka vi\u0146a dr\u012bz run\u0101s pati.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Tu vienm\u0113r bij\u0101t manos sap\u0146os.<\/p>\n J\u0101, tu. Meitene, kas dod.<\/p>\n Meitene, kura neskaita, kura redz, kad citi dod un saka vi\u0146iem "paldies". Kas ir drosm\u012bgi. Pietiekami drosm\u012bgs, lai m\u012bl\u0113tu un b\u016btu atv\u0113rts.<\/p>\n Es tevi redz\u0113ju savos sap\u0146os. M\u0113s s\u0113d\u0113j\u0101m kafejn\u012bc\u0101, uz tavas gultas malas, tavas m\u0101jas k\u0101p\u0146u telp\u0101, zem priedes me\u017e\u0101, uz parka soli\u0146a vai tuk\u0161os rati\u0146os.<\/p>\n Es tev smaid\u012bju. Tu man uzsmaid\u012bji divas reizes.<\/p>\n Es k\u0101dreiz rakst\u012bju jums v\u0113stules. J\u016bs atbild\u0113j\u0101t uz tiem man\u0101 viet\u0101.<\/p>\n Es tev sagatavoju brokastis. Un tu man iedod vakari\u0146as.<\/p>\n M\u0113s las\u0101m gr\u0101matas. M\u0113s gul\u0113j\u0101m viens otra rok\u0101s. Kaila. Taj\u0101 karstaj\u0101 vasaras nakt\u012b. M\u0113s sp\u0113l\u0113j\u0101m \u0161ahu. J\u016bs man past\u0101st\u012bj\u0101t par savu b\u0113rn\u012bbu. Es jums past\u0101st\u012bju par to, no k\u0101 es visvair\u0101k baidos pasaul\u0113.<\/p>\n Es zinu, ka \u0161ie sap\u0146i ir nepatiesi un vienpus\u012bgi... Bet es to esmu redz\u0113jis.<\/p>\n M\u0113s m\u012bl\u0113j\u0101m viens otru. V\u0113l\u0101k m\u0113s pat var\u0113tu iz\u0161\u0137irties. Bet pat \u0161\u0137ir\u0161an\u0101s laik\u0101 m\u0113s palik\u0101m atv\u0113rti. Veids, k\u0101 m\u0113s atveramies tikai tiem cilv\u0113kiem, kuri mums r\u016bp visvair\u0101k.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Sav\u0101 v\u0113stul\u0113 es izlaidu atbildi, kuru uzskatu par pareizu. Atbilde uz to, ko es saucu par patiesu m\u012blest\u012bbu.<\/p>\n Pasaul\u0113 ir vair\u0101k m\u012blest\u012bbas gar\u0161u nek\u0101 recep\u0161u. Un tas ir atkar\u012bgs ne tikai no \u0101rpuses \u2013 ar ko, kur, kad un k\u0101 esam, bet ar\u012b no m\u016bsu pa\u0161u attieksmes.<\/p>\n Un man\u0101 p\u0101rliec\u012bb\u0101... M\u012blest\u012bba ir do\u0161ana.<\/p>\n Kristie\u0161i ar mani lepotos. Vi\u0146i teiktu, ka \u0161eit es nesu patieso Kristus v\u0101rdu. Bet es to nesaku savas reli\u0123iozit\u0101tes d\u0113\u013c.<\/p>\n \u2026T\u0101 ir tikai p\u0101rliec\u012bba, ko ietekm\u0113ju\u0161as manas gar\u0161as k\u0101rpi\u0146as. T\u0101 es saprotu m\u012blest\u012bbu. T\u0101 es to par\u0101du citiem. Tas ir tas, ko es daru, kad iem\u012blos.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Atz\u012b\u0161os \u2013 varb\u016bt esmu stulbs, p\u0101r\u0101k \u0101tri satriekts romanti\u0137is. \u0160\u012b ir mana v\u0101j\u0101 vieta. Viens no daudzajiem.<\/p>\n Bet, kad es iem\u012blos, es vairs nesp\u0113ju sevi kontrol\u0113t. Man tas k\u013c\u016bst gr\u016bti un nepat\u012bkami... Un es bie\u017ei neredzu tam j\u0113gu.<\/p>\n Kad es iem\u012blos, es dodu tik daudz, cik varu.<\/p>\n T\u0101 viet\u0101, lai s\u0113d\u0113tu Facebook, es rakstu t\u0101das v\u0113stules k\u0101 \u0161\u012b. Gul\u0113\u0161anas viet\u0101 es dodos pie tevis, lai gan tu dz\u012bvo simt divdesmit kilometru att\u0101lum\u0101. T\u0101 viet\u0101, lai skait\u012btu, ko es sa\u0146emu... Es aizmirstu to izdar\u012bt.<\/p>\n Bet tam visam pien\u0101k beigas. T\u0101 bezcer\u012bbas saj\u016bta n\u0101k.<\/p>\n K\u0101 tas j\u016btas, j\u016bs jaut\u0101jat? Atbild\u0113\u0161u: t\u0101 ir saj\u016bta, ka velti dodu un cen\u0161os. Tas, ko es daru vislab\u0101k... Tas nepal\u012bdz.<\/p>\n P\u0113k\u0161\u0146i pien\u0101k diena, kad tu man vairs nesaki paldies. Tu man neuzrakstiji pirmais. Tu vairs nepiev\u0113r\u0161 uzman\u012bbu man\u0101m d\u0101van\u0101m. Tu nesaki ne v\u0101rda. Tu vairs neizr\u0101di ne maz\u0101k\u0101s emocijas.<\/p>\n Tad man liekas, ka tu nosp\u013cautos.<\/p>\n J\u016btos ievainots un izmantots. Lai sevi pasarg\u0101tu, es piespie\u017eu sevi skait\u012bt, ko dodu... Un man tas nemaz nepat\u012bk. Es labpr\u0101t\u0101k neziedotu visp\u0101r.<\/p>\n P\u0113k\u0161\u0146i es vairs nej\u016btos k\u0101 es pati.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Kad es aizveru acis, es sap\u0146oju, ka esmu atv\u0113rts.<\/p>\n Man visu m\u016b\u017eu ir m\u0101c\u012bts \u2013 neesi atkl\u0101ts, nesaki to, ko dom\u0101, neesi tu pats, esi lab\u0101ks, nek\u0101 esi. Tas ir vien\u012bgais veids, k\u0101 k\u013c\u016bt lab\u0101kam par citiem. Tas ir vien\u012bgais veids, k\u0101 kaut ko sasniegt.<\/p>\n Bet jo t\u0101l\u0101k es eju, jo vair\u0101k saprotu, ka b\u016bt atv\u0113rtam ir jauki. Galu gal\u0101 pateikt un par\u0101d\u012bt paties\u012bbu ir tas pats, kas par\u0101d\u012bt sava pr\u0101ta slepen\u0101kos st\u016brus.<\/p>\n Kad es aizveru acis, es k\u013c\u016bstu atv\u0113rts. Es k\u013c\u016bstu caursp\u012bd\u012bgs k\u0101 kr\u012bto\u0161a brie\u017ea vai stirnas asara. Es k\u013c\u016bstu par sevi.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Viss, ko es grib\u0113ju, bija tevi m\u012bl\u0113t.<\/p>\n B\u016bt kop\u0101 ar jums.<\/p>\n Lai paceltu liesmas un dzirksteles, it k\u0101 zobens tiktu berz\u0113ts pret rot\u0113jo\u0161u slieksni.<\/p>\n Es grib\u0113ju ce\u013cot ar tevi. Ne tikai caur nepaz\u012bstam\u0101m valst\u012bm, bet ar\u012b caur m\u016bsu dz\u012bvi. Es grib\u0113ju att\u012bst\u012bties un m\u0101c\u012bties kop\u0101 ar jums. K\u013c\u016bsti par sp\u0113ku, kas maina pasauli.<\/p>\n b\u016bt Dz\u012bvot Dzirksti.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Es esmu d\u0101v\u0101jo\u0161s cilv\u0113ks.<\/p>\n Tas ir mans ce\u013c\u0161.<\/p>\n Man pat\u012bk dal\u012bties, m\u0101c\u012bt, pal\u012bdz\u0113t tiem, kam t\u0101 vajadz\u012bga. Man pat\u012bk to dar\u012bt, jo, ja es to nedar\u012btu - es neredz\u0113tu j\u0113gu dz\u012bvot.<\/p>\n Man pat\u012bk, ka mani at\u0146em un saka "paldies". Jo es vienm\u0113r t\u0101 saku \u2013 pat ja pal\u012bdz\u012bba neko daudz nepal\u012bdz\u0113ja.<\/p>\n Man pat\u012bk redz\u0113t, k\u0101 cilv\u0113ki aug un att\u012bst\u0101s. K\u0101 vi\u0146i atrod citus cilv\u0113kus, par kuriem es jums st\u0101st\u012bju. Pat\u012bk redz\u0113t, k\u0101 vi\u0146i k\u013c\u016bst laim\u012bgi.<\/p>\n Tas ir mans ce\u013c\u0161.<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Es tikai grib\u0113ju m\u012bl\u0113t.<\/p>\n Dz\u012bvot atkl\u0101ti un b\u016bt t\u012bram.<\/p>\n M\u012bl\u0113t Dot Sp\u012bd\u0113t.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Es tikai grib\u0113ju m\u012bl\u0113t.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[69],"class_list":{"0":"post-190","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-laiskai","8":"tag-meile"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}