Vipassana medit\u0101cijas apm\u0101c\u012bb\u0101<\/a>. Par to bija daudz run\u0101ts\u00a0viss n\u0101k pa vi\u013c\u0146iem.<\/b>\u00a0N\u0101k, iet, palielin\u0101s, samazin\u0101s, niez vair\u0101k, niez maz\u0101k, interesanti, neinteresanti, gribas vair\u0101k las\u012bt, kas te rakst\u012bts, negribas vair\u0101k las\u012bt, kas te rakst\u012bts, gribas salabot matus, tu negribi, tu gribi sasniegt m\u0113r\u0137us, tu negribi...<\/p>\nAr\u012b br\u012bvaj\u0101 laik\u0101 s\u0101ku interes\u0113ties par putniem. Da\u017ei putni dz\u012bvo vieni, bet citi dz\u012bvo gan\u0101mpulkos. Bet ab\u0101m \u0161\u012bm putnu sug\u0101m ir viena kop\u012bga iez\u012bme: to rut\u012bna.<\/p>\n
Rut\u012bnas, rut\u012bnas, rut\u012bnas.<\/b>\u00a0Gan\u0101mie putni lido apk\u0101rt, apa\u013ci, apa\u013ci, l\u012bdz, ak! Atrada ko \u0113damu. Ak! Atradusi vietu atp\u016btai. Ak! Atkal j\u0101lido ri\u0146\u0137os, j\u0101atgrie\u017eas rut\u012bn\u0101. Vi\u0146iem un vientu\u013cajiem putniem ir sava noklus\u0113juma k\u0101rt\u012bba.<\/p>\n
Es dom\u0101ju... Vai tie\u0161\u0101m st\u0101r\u0137is grib atgriezties Lietuv\u0101, lai p\u0101roties, izaudzin\u0101tu b\u0113rnus, ap\u0113stu 156 peles un 14 vardes un p\u0113c tam lidotu atpaka\u013c uzst\u0101ties\u00a0t\u0101s noz\u012bmi<\/b>? Vai st\u0101r\u0137i rodas nejau\u0161i? Un vai cilv\u0113ka noz\u012bme(-es) at\u0161\u0137iras no st\u0101r\u0137iem, gov\u012bm un la\u0161iem?<\/p>\n
Tagad, kad vairs nerakstu emu\u0101rus un neizaicinu sevi, iek\u0161\u0113ji j\u016btos tuk\u0161a. Kaut k\u0101 pietr\u016bkst. Nu ne t\u0101, k\u0101 bija. Bet ne t\u0101, k\u0101 tas var\u0113tu b\u016bt.<\/p>\n
Un tas var\u0113tu b\u016bt... Uh... Ja es \u0161ai skaistajai meitenei pateiktu, ka man vi\u0146a pat\u012bk... Varb\u016bt... Ah, nu, ja...<\/p>\n
\u2026Jo vair\u0101k j\u016bs skat\u0101ties uz savu tuk\u0161umu, jo vair\u0101k tas saka.\u00a0<\/b>Sol\u012bjumi. \u010cuksti. J\u016bs varat, j\u016bs varat, j\u016bs varat. Gribi, gribi, gribi. Vajag, vajag, vajag. Vajag, vajag, vajag. Ir j\u0113ga, j\u0113ga, j\u0113ga. Pareizi, pareizi, pareizi.<\/p>\n
Un tuk\u0161ums, ak, nekad nepiepild\u0101s. Vienm\u0113r ir vair\u0101k.<\/p>\n
\u0160is tuk\u0161ums ir iemesls, k\u0101p\u0113c m\u0113s dz\u012bvojam tik \u0113rti. Iemesls, k\u0101p\u0113c mums ir tik daudz.<\/p>\n
\u2026Bet tie\u0161\u0101m?<\/p>\n
Varb\u016bt iemesls tam visam bija tas, ka k\u0101dam bija rut\u012bna un dz\u012bvoja vi\u013c\u0146veid\u012bgi? Vai esat bijis Vipassana?<\/strong> Vai vi\u0146\u0161 bija \u0161aj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b, god\u012bgi sakot, un nev\u0113l\u0113j\u0101s neko vair\u0101k, tikai dar\u012bja to, ko vi\u0146am lika dar\u012bt taj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b?<\/p>\nAr\u012b es pati nezinu, cik \u013coti vajag sevi piespiest kaut ko dar\u012bt. Vai tam vienk\u0101r\u0161i j\u0101notiek pa\u0161am no sevis? Vai v\u0113l vajag piespiest to, kas ieg\u016bts ar sp\u0113ku, garu, discipl\u012bnu, mor\u0101li?<\/p>\n
Ko tu dom\u0101?<\/p>\n