{"id":15670,"date":"2021-09-11T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-11T09:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/?p=15670"},"modified":"2021-07-22T15:39:35","modified_gmt":"2021-07-22T12:39:35","slug":"man-tapo-sunku-kalbeti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/2021\/im-so-hard-to-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"It became difficult for me to speak"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#039;s hard because I don&#039;t feel like Daniel anymore. I feel different. Different. Old topics are gone... And I feel the pressure. Fear. Loneliness. Caution.<\/p>\n<p>Pressure from my imaginary readers who want the same thing they have already tasted, but I can't serve it again because my recipe has changed.<\/p>\n<p>Fear that I am no longer good enough, interesting enough, useful enough to say something. Am I just wasting your time?<\/p>\n<p>Loneliness, because I haven't yet found a connection with my inner critic - the reader, to whom I dedicate my texts. (You know, I don't mean you when I talk about you - I mean this imaginary consumer.)<\/p>\n<p>Caution, because I don't-know where I'm going at the moment.<\/p>\n<p>Do I want to talk again?<\/p>\n<p>Yes. But I don't know what about. I don't know what I want to say. I just know that I feel good when I talk, so... I should probably go on?<\/p>\n<p>...Or is it a sign that I am only saying things that please me and do not benefit others?<\/p>\n<p>I don&#039;t know.<\/p>\n<p>I just found it difficult to speak.<\/p>\n<p>For about two years now, a year and a half...<\/p>\n<div id=\"parasas\" class=\"\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 900 189\" width=\"200\">\n        <path class=\"d-1\" d=\"M67 50L5 172\"\/>\n        <path class=\"d-2\" d=\"M19 152c7 8 30 33 59 32 41-1 76-46 80-100 2-22-6-77-42-79C61 2-1 54 46 76\"\/>\n        <path class=\"a\" d=\"M204 126.9c1.4-6-1-23.7-8.8-23.3-33.2 1-44 50-31 54 11 3 22-10 36-25 2-3 14 9 25 10\"\/>\n        <path class=\"nie\" d=\"M211 157c45-44 65-58 70-54 6 5-16 42-12 45 6 4 47-55 57-49 7 4-7 34 4 47 8 11 20 7 28 1 18-14 28-28 27-22s-5 38 46 16c21-9 22-29 13-36-3-2-16 6-16 16-1 18 14 29 37 28\"\/>\n        <path class=\"t-1\" d=\"M387 80a1 1 0 1 0 2 0 1 1 0 1 0-2 0\"\/>\n        <path class=\"liu\" d=\"M444 184C549 88 546 23 536 23c-19 0-57 74-57 122 0 4 5 13 13 16 5 3 11 2 16 1 6-1 11-6 17-10l39-32c0 6-2 8-3 14-2 7-2 10 1 14l5 4c6 3 14 1 20-1 17-7 26-19 44-29 3-1 8-4 12-2l5 6c4 11 1 16 4 22s13 10 20 8 12-9 13-14l4-13 3-5 6-4 13-5c3-1 6-3 10-8\"\/>\n        <path class=\"t-2\" d=\"M576 85a1 1 0 1 0 2 0 1 1 0 1 0-2 0\"\/>\n        <path class=\"s-1\" d=\"M720 142c8 2 27 3 35-3 6-4-18-36-22-32-3 4-6 19-30 65\"\/>\n        <path class=\"s-2\" d=\"M756 140c4-1 9-4 12-8\"\/><\/svg>\n    <\/div>\n    <noscript><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/wp-content\/themes\/debesyla-uzrasai-child\/inc\/img\/fallback-parasas.png\" alt=\"Daniel\" style=\"top: -2.5em; position: relative;\"><\/noscript>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#039;s hard because I don&#039;t feel like Daniel anymore. I feel different. Different. Old topics are gone... And I feel the pressure. Fear. Loneliness. Caution.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16687,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[73,86],"class_list":{"0":"post-15670","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-pamastymai","8":"tag-drasa","9":"tag-saves-pazinimas"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15670\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}