{"id":1142,"date":"2016-12-24T19:54:05","date_gmt":"2016-12-24T16:54:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/danieliusg.lt\/?p=1142"},"modified":"2021-07-07T17:55:58","modified_gmt":"2021-07-07T14:55:58","slug":"apie-mokymasi-klaidas-ir-meile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/2016\/about-learning-media-and-love\/","title":{"rendered":"[Letter]<\/i> Today I was ice skating and thinking about my mistakes and love"},"content":{"rendered":"

Goal of the day: 247 words<\/a>. Written: 348<\/b>.<\/p>\n

I love learning. And that's why I'm so often wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

A week ago, I was at the ice arena with some friends. I've never been able to skate, and I've only ever worn skates since I was 11.<\/p>\n

I was learning to ice skate.<\/strong> And in those 45 minutes I learnt part of it - I was moving through the ice, albeit turtle-like, but damn it!<\/p>\n

But let's go back to the beginning. First moment on the ice.<\/p>\n

\"Just don't fall down\", my friend Kristina told me.<\/p>\n

\"Just try and succeed - like a child\", added my friend Tauras, recalling our earlier conversation about why children learn to skate faster than adults.<\/p>\n

I casually took a few steps on the ice, not holding on to the fence, but probably looking like a drunk.<\/p>\n

And then I realised.<\/strong> I need to do what I love to do.<\/p>\n

\"Wait a minute, I need to do something,\" I said to my friends, spreading my arms out to the sides and bending my legs a little...<\/p>\n

...I fell with my butt on the ice.<\/p>\n

An instant breakthrough.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One moment I was scared to fall, scared to make a mistake... And the next moment I was calm, as if I was an Olympic ice skater.<\/p>\n

Because by the second moment, I already knew that falling down is not so bad. You can do it again - it will be quite nice. After all, it's just a bit of a pain in the arse.<\/p>\n

The scene is changing.<\/p>\n

I'm in the kitchen, frying an egg for the first time in my life.<\/strong> At the age of twenty-one. Why so late? No, not because I was a mummy. ...It's just because I can't live with parents who take care of me. Too much.<\/p>\n

That day I knew that my mother and father had gone to the Old Town to buy who knows what and to scold them. As always. I also knew that on this rare day, nobody would try to stop me from making a mistake.<\/p>\n

That day, I allowed myself to be wrong because no one stood behind me and held my hand.<\/p>\n

I felt happy. The egg baked perfectly. Valio!<\/p>\n

We change the scene again.<\/p>\n

I fell in love with a girl. Again.\u00a0<\/strong>Who doesn't seem to have fallen in love with me that much. Cool...<\/p>\n

Questions:\u00a0<\/strong>Why am I afraid of making mistakes? Why, in this one place, am I not giving myself permission to be wrong? Why am I afraid to write letters to her, because, well, it seems that I write too many letters as it is? Why am I afraid to confess to her, because, well, it seems that I will alienate her?<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

I draw rectangles on the table with a pencil. Angular. Filled with anger and a lack of understanding of my feelings. And I just want to love. And feel loved.<\/p>\n

Why am I afraid? Why is she afraid?<\/p>\n

Questions.<\/p>\n

Laughing,
\nDaniel<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Goal of the day: 247 words<\/a>. Written: 348<\/b>.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14768,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[2,69],"class_list":{"0":"post-1142","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-laiskai","8":"tag-365-tekstai","9":"tag-meile"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1142\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/uzrasai\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}