K\u0101p\u0113c ir t\u0101, ka? \ud83d\ude2e<\/p>\n
Vai t\u0101p\u0113c, ka da\u017eiem ir lemts sadz\u012bvot k\u0101 cepel\u012bniem ar lietuvie\u0161u v\u0113deru, 1<\/a> un citiem labas attiec\u012bbas vienk\u0101r\u0161i nav lemtas?<\/p>\n Nu, paties\u012bb\u0101, n\u0113. Liktenim ar to nav nek\u0101da sakara.<\/p>\n Un, ja j\u016bs dom\u0101jat par savu m\u012b\u013coto cilv\u0113ku k\u0101 par \"likten\u012bgu\" vai vaino savas slikt\u0101s attiec\u012bbas ar vec\u0101kiem horoskopa z\u012bmju d\u0113\u013c... tad ir laiks to p\u0101rtraukt dar\u012bt. Vair\u0101k pa\u013causimies uz psiholo\u0123ijas zin\u0101tni.<\/p>\n [tcb-script] jQuery(function($){ $(window).scroll(function(e){ scrollTimeOut = true; if ($('#orodykle').length){ if($(window).scrollTop() + window.innerHeight > $('1TP6Pointer').offset().top) { setTimeout(function(){ $('1TP6Pointer').addClass('onscreen'); }, 750); } } }); } ); [\/tcb-script]<\/p>\n K\u0101 b\u016btu, ja es jums pateiktu, ka ir pieci cilv\u0113ku veidi? Visi. B\u0113rni, vecvec\u0101ki, pieaugu\u0161ie un pat tie pusaud\u017ei, kuru hormoni sagroza da\u017e\u0101das \u0137erme\u0146a da\u013cas? 2<\/a> Pieci veidi. J\u016bs esat viens no vi\u0146iem. Ko tu dom\u0101?<\/p>\n J\u016bs varat rea\u0123\u0113t vien\u0101 no \u0161iem veidiem:<\/p>\n Bet j\u016bsu lab\u0101k\u0101 reakcija b\u016btu bijusi abu sajaukums.<\/p>\n "Piecas m\u012blest\u012bbas valodas"<\/strong> ir gr\u0101mata, kas tika uzrakst\u012bta pirms 24 gadiem un joproj\u0101m atrodas kaut kur ap p\u0101rdot\u0101ko gr\u0101matu sarakstu. 3<\/a>\u00a0To rakst\u012bja m\u0101c\u012bt\u0101js un starppersonu terapeits Gerijs \u010cepmens<\/a>. Vi\u0146\u0161 rad\u012bja ideju par piec\u0101m m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101m.<\/p>\n Es saku "rad\u012bts", nevis "atkl\u0101ts", jo Gerijs \u010cepmens nav un nekad nav bijis psihologs. V\u0113l interesant\u0101k ir tas, ka vi\u0146\u0161 nav veicis nek\u0101du p\u0113t\u012bjumu par \u0161\u012bm m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101m. Un tas ir neparasti popul\u0101ro psiholo\u0123ijas gr\u0101matu pasaul\u0113.<\/p>\n T\u0101 viet\u0101 zin\u0101\u0161anas par m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101m ir apkopotas, run\u0101jot ar lieliski sader\u012bgiem p\u0101riem un p\u0113tot, k\u0101 vi\u0146i sazin\u0101s.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n L\u012bdz\u012bgi, k\u0101 tagad atk\u0101rto lietuvie\u0161u psiholo\u0123e Lina V\u0117\u017eelien\u0117. 4<\/a><\/p>\n Gandr\u012bz nav zin\u0101tnisku p\u0113t\u012bjumu par piec\u0101m m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101m. <\/strong>Tuv\u0101kais, kas mums bija j\u0101izp\u0113ta, ir 2006.\u00a0gad\u0101 veikt\u0101 Nikolas Egbertas vair\u0101ku iepriek\u0161\u0113jo p\u0113t\u012bjumu anal\u012bze, kas par\u0101d\u012bja saikni starp valodu un realit\u0101ti. Nav skaidrs, bet tas ir. 5<\/a><\/p>\n \u0160\u0137iet, ka \u0161is piecu m\u012blest\u012bbas valodu modelis darbojas. Bet k\u0101 att\u0113lus, kas par\u0101da, cik da\u017e\u0101di ir m\u016bsu uztvere par m\u012blest\u012bbu un to, k\u0101 savu m\u012blest\u012bbu pazi\u0146ot citiem vi\u0146u valod\u0101. Tas, visticam\u0101k, jums pal\u012bdz\u0113s, t\u0101pat k\u0101 man pal\u012bdz\u0113ja man\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s.<\/p>\n T\u0101tad, ja v\u0113laties...<\/p>\n ...Las\u012bt vair\u0101k.<\/p>\n \u013baujiet man past\u0101st\u012bt par piec\u0101m m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101m un k\u0101p\u0113c tas nav nekas jauns. J\u016bsu vec\u0101ki un vecvec\u0101ki dro\u0161i vien jau zina \u0161\u012bs valodas.<\/strong> Jums vienk\u0101r\u0161i bija j\u0101noskaidro.<\/p>\n J\u0101, es uztais\u012bju \u0161o vardi. \/\/ Foto - Vi Kontrimait\u0117<\/p>\n Run\u0101, ka m\u0113s visi run\u0101jam \u0161aj\u0101s valod\u0101s. Un j\u0101, ja jums rodas jaut\u0101jums - m\u0113s run\u0101jam vair\u0101k nek\u0101 vien\u0101 valod\u0101<\/strong> un m\u0113s varam t\u0101s iem\u0101c\u012bties pat tad, ja nekad neesam t\u0101s apguvu\u0161i.<\/p>\n Vai esat redz\u0113ju\u0161i p\u0101rus vai draugu grupas, kas ierodas kafejn\u012bc\u0101 k\u0101 grupa, pas\u016bta kafiju un p\u0113c tam atsevi\u0161\u0137i lasa \u017eurn\u0101lus, str\u0101d\u0101 pie datora vai telefona?<\/p>\n Vai, piem\u0113ram, p\u0101ri, kuriem vismaz reizi ned\u0113\u013c\u0101 ir \u0101rk\u0101rt\u012bgi liela noz\u012bme 6<\/a> aps\u0113sties, lai kop\u012bgi noskat\u012btos filmu, pagatavotu vakari\u0146as virtuv\u0113 vai dar\u012btu kaut ko citu kop\u0101?<\/p>\n \u0160ie cilv\u0113ki nov\u0113rt\u0113 kop\u0101 pavad\u012bto laiku.<\/strong><\/p>\n Un j\u0101, ar\u012b draugi, kas s\u0113\u017e kop\u0101 kafejn\u012bc\u0101, bet iegrimu\u0161i savos telefonos. Facebook nesen redz\u0113ju k\u0101das sievietes ilgsto\u0161u s\u016bdz\u012bbu par \u0161\u0101du uzved\u012bbu. Tom\u0113r \u0161\u012b ir tikai m\u012blest\u012bbas un draudz\u012bbas valoda starp \u0161iem draugiem.<\/p>\n \u0160\u0101da veida cilv\u0113kiem vissvar\u012bg\u0101kais ir tas, ka j\u016bs esat kop\u0101.<\/p>\n J\u0101, tie divi t\u0113li kafejn\u012bcas aizmugur\u0113, salipu\u0161i kop\u0101 un laiza viens otru k\u0101 ka\u0137\u0113ni. Vai ar\u012b, ja jums pat\u012bk pieskarties citai personai, tas esat j\u016bs.<\/p>\n Ir svar\u012bgi atz\u012bm\u0113t, ka pieskar\u0161an\u0101s nav vien\u0101da ar seksu. Da\u017eiem 7<\/a> piesk\u0101riens vi\u0146iem var \u0161\u0137ist \u013coti svar\u012bgs. Kad patie\u0161\u0101m, t\u0101 ir tikai dabiska vajadz\u012bba izpausties ar seksu.<\/p>\n Piesk\u0101rieni var b\u016bt da\u017e\u0101di.<\/strong><\/p>\n Piem\u0113ram, t\u0113tis, kuram pat\u012bk uzlikt roku uz b\u0113rna pleca, run\u0101jot ar vi\u0146u, iesp\u0113jams, augstu v\u0113rt\u0113 piesk\u0101rienu. Vai ar\u012b sievai, kura vienm\u0113r v\u0113las b\u016bt maz\u0101 karot\u012bte gult\u0101, dro\u0161i vien ar\u012b pat\u012bk piesk\u0101rieni.<\/p>\n \u0160\u0101diem cilv\u0113kiem vislab\u0101k\u0101 d\u0101vana ir sirsn\u012bgs apsk\u0101viens, rokasspiediens, draudz\u012bgs pagr\u016bstiens s\u0101nos vai kn\u0101bis pa vaigu. Vi\u0146iem piesk\u0101riens ir svar\u012bgs.<\/p>\n Aha, vi\u0146a! P\u0101rsvar\u0101 objekta form\u0101, bet var b\u016bt ar\u012b virtu\u0101ls 8<\/a> - svar\u012bgi ir dot.<\/p>\n Un nedom\u0101jiet, ka visiem pat\u012bk d\u0101vanas.<\/strong><\/p>\n T\u0101pat k\u0101 pirm\u0101s divas valodas, ar\u012b \u0161\u012b nav vien\u0101di pie\u0146emama un saprotama visiem. Piem\u0113ram, es ien\u012bstu d\u0101vanas. Man tas nekad nav paticis un man nepat\u012bk \u0161odien. 9<\/a><\/p>\n Bet citi ir svar\u012bgi. Pat ja d\u0101vanas nav \u012bpa\u0161i noder\u012bgas. Piem\u0113ram, M\u0101rd\u017eai Simpsonei pat\u012bk auto e\u013c\u013ca, ko vi\u0146ai dod Hom\u0113rs. 10<\/a><\/p>\n B\u016bt\u012bb\u0101, ja v\u0113laties izr\u0101d\u012bt m\u012blest\u012bbu \u0161iem cilv\u0113kiem, ne\u017e\u0113lojiet naudu, laiku vai atjaut\u012bbu d\u0101vanu veido\u0161an\u0101. Tas var b\u016bt prie\u017eu \u010diekurs no skaista me\u017ea un interesanta gr\u0101mata.<\/p>\n Maniem vec\u0101kiem \u0161\u012b, iesp\u0113jams, ir vissvar\u012bg\u0101k\u0101 valoda (vai vismaz manai m\u0101tei vissvar\u012bg\u0101k\u0101), jo vi\u0146i vienm\u0113r v\u0113las pal\u012bdz\u0113t citiem un nov\u0113rt\u0113, ka vi\u0146iem pal\u012bdz. 11<\/a><\/p>\n Darba atbalsts var b\u016bt tikpat daudzveid\u012bgs k\u0101 pa\u0161as darba vietas.<\/strong><\/p>\n Varu ieteikt paskat\u012bties uz citiem cilv\u0113kiem. Un, ja tev nav vajadz\u012bga pal\u012bdz\u012bba vai ja citi nenov\u0113rt\u0113 tav\u0113jo \u2013 saproti vi\u0146us; tas ir dabiski.<\/p>\n Sazinoties ar cilv\u0113kiem, kuriem nepiecie\u0161ama pal\u012bdz\u012bba, m\u0113\u0123iniet vi\u0146iem sniegt \u0161o pal\u012bdz\u012bbu. Vai ar\u012b, ja v\u0113laties no\u0146emt slogu no sevis, uzsveriet, ka, teiksim: "\u0160is s\u012bkr\u012bks jums \u013coti pal\u012bdz\u0113s" vai "\u0160is cilv\u0113ks jums pal\u012bdz\u0113s."<\/p>\n Tas ir viss, kas iziet no tavas mutes (vai rakst\u012btiem burtiem) un non\u0101k citu cilv\u0113ku aus\u012bs (vai ac\u012bs)... Eee... Labi, varb\u016bt tas izklaus\u0101s mazliet bied\u0113jo\u0161i. Aizmirstiet \u0161o metaforu. 12<\/a><\/p>\n Man person\u012bgi \u0161\u012b, iesp\u0113jams, ir vissvar\u012bg\u0101k\u0101 valoda. Uzmundrin\u0101juma v\u0101rdi man vienm\u0113r ir biju\u0161i svar\u012bgi neatkar\u012bgi no t\u0101, vai tie ir pilni ar inform\u0101ciju vai vienk\u0101r\u0161i "Tu vari, es tev ticu."<\/p>\n K\u0101 pateikt atbalsto\u0161u v\u0101rdu citiem? Nu j\u0101:<\/p>\n Svar\u012bgi ir neatk\u0101rtot atbalsta v\u0101rdus atkal un atkal un teikt tos "jo tas ir j\u0101saka".<\/strong> Tas, k\u0101 es pats iev\u0113roju, atgr\u016b\u017e.<\/p>\n T\u0101p\u0113c es tik \u013coti ien\u012bstu motiv\u0113jo\u0161us cit\u0101tus Facebook, jo tie nav dom\u0101ti k\u0101 personiski. Tie ir paredz\u0113ti, lai piesaist\u012btu vair\u0101k pirc\u0113ju. Cit\u0101ti uz kop\u012bg\u0101s Facebook sienas ir \u0146irg\u0101\u0161an\u0101s par atbalsta v\u0101rdiem. T\u0101pat k\u0101 past\u0101v\u012bgs pozit\u012bvisms bez kritikas. 13<\/a><\/p>\n T\u0101tad - cilv\u0113kiem, kam pat\u012bk v\u0101rdi, dodiet \u0161os saldumus k\u0101 b\u0113rnam: ne katru dienu un ne vienm\u0113r vien\u0101di.<\/p>\n Tom\u0113r jums jau vajadz\u0113ja iev\u0113rot \u0161o m\u012blest\u012bbas valodu visp\u0101r\u012bgo pras\u012bbu. Neatkar\u012bgi no t\u0101, k\u0101 j\u016bs izpau\u017eat savu uzman\u012bbu citam, tai j\u0101b\u016bt patiesai.<\/p>\n Nedari kaut ko tikai t\u0101p\u0113c, ka tas ir j\u0101dara. Dariet to t\u0101p\u0113c, ka v\u0113laties. Neizr\u0101di m\u012blest\u012bbu t\u0101, k\u0101 tev ir norm\u0101li, izr\u0101di to t\u0101, k\u0101 to uztver otrs.<\/p>\n \u0160eit es iesaku izlas\u012bt \u0161\u0101dus divus papildin\u0101jumus:<\/p>\n Ir svar\u012bgi saprast, ka mums nav tikai viena m\u012blest\u012bbas valoda.\u00a0M\u0113s dabiski run\u0101jam vair\u0101k\u0101s valod\u0101s.<\/strong>\u00a0Jaut\u0101jums ir par to, kuras.<\/p>\n \u0160eit, piem\u0113ram, man svar\u012bg\u0101kie ir atbalsta v\u0101rdi un kop\u0101 pavad\u012btais laiks. Bet maniem vec\u0101kiem - pal\u012bdz\u012bba darb\u0101 un d\u0101vanas. Bet tas ir dabiski, ka m\u0113s nerun\u0101jam vis\u0101s m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101s, jo m\u0113s esam at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bgi. Ir svar\u012bgi saprast, ka tas, kas der tev, var neder\u0113t k\u0101dam citam.<\/p>\n T\u0101tad, ir divi veidi, k\u0101 uzzin\u0101t savu valodu:<\/strong><\/p>\n Varat veikt abas darb\u012bbas. Person\u012bgi es dodu priek\u0161roku testiem, jo tie nedarbojas p\u0113c horoskopa principa - \u0161\u0137iet, ka viss neatbilst.<\/p>\n Citi cilv\u0113ki var nov\u0113rot vai tikt mudin\u0101ti veikt \u0161o testu.<\/p>\n Mana draudzene Giedr\u0117 ieteica \u0161o testu savai mammai. Un atkl\u0101ja, ka p\u0113rkona negaisa laik\u0101 vi\u0146u valodas vienk\u0101r\u0161i nesakr\u012bt. Tad abi saprata, k\u0101 uzlabot attiec\u012bbas. Un tas notika. 15<\/a> Cita draudzene, starp citu, ar\u012b Giedr\u0117... Vi\u0146a to ieteica savam v\u012bram. Attiec\u012bbas s\u0101ka uzlaboties, kad vi\u0146i saprata, ka vi\u0146u nesaska\u0146as nav radu\u0161\u0101s likte\u0146a, bet gan t\u0101p\u0113c, ka vi\u0146i nesaprata viens otra at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bbas.<\/p>\n Abi Giedres p\u0101rbaud\u012bja gan savas, gan tuvinieku m\u012blest\u012bbas valodas. Un vi\u0146iem uzreiz k\u013cuva skaidrs, k\u0101p\u0113c attiec\u012bbas bija tik sliktas pirms Piecu valodu atkl\u0101\u0161anas. Ar jaunaj\u0101m zin\u0101\u0161an\u0101m vi\u0146i var\u0113ja stiprin\u0101t savas attiec\u012bbas.<\/p>\n Bet es par \u0161\u012bm run\u0101m nest\u0101stu tikai t\u0101p\u0113c, ka man vairs nav ko teikt. \u0160is st\u0101sts ir nedaudz personisk\u0101ks.<\/p>\n Pirms trim gadiem biju kop\u0101 ar meiteni. P\u0101r\u012b. Vi\u0146a bija fantastiska meitene, un es vi\u0146u attiec\u012bgi m\u012bl\u0113ju. Diem\u017e\u0113l attiec\u012bbas nebeidz\u0101s laim\u012bgi. M\u0113s iz\u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101mies Turcij\u0101, m\u016bsu "br\u012bvdien\u0101s". P\u0113c apm\u0113ram m\u0113nesi ilga klus\u0101 kara non\u0101k\u0161ana arvien ac\u012bmredzam\u0101k\u0101 "kaut kas nav k\u0101rt\u012bb\u0101" attiec\u012bbu virpul\u012b.<\/p>\n Tagad, kad es par to dom\u0101ju, m\u0113s iz\u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101mies smiekl\u012bgu iemeslu d\u0113\u013c. Tikai t\u0101p\u0113c, ka m\u0113s pat nem\u0113\u0123in\u0101j\u0101m iem\u0101c\u012bties viens otra m\u012blest\u012bbas valodas.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Tikai tagad es saprotu, cik da\u017e\u0101das bija m\u016bsu valodas:<\/p>\n ...Un t\u0101 t\u0101l\u0101k. B\u016bt\u012bb\u0101 saikne starp mums, iesp\u0113jams, rad\u0101s tikai t\u0101p\u0113c, ka m\u0113s bij\u0101m skaisti viens otram un mums patika gul\u0113t saspiestiem. Bet ne vair\u0101k.<\/p>\n T\u0101p\u0113c nav p\u0101rsteidzo\u0161i, ka m\u0113s iz\u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101mies, nesaprotot viens otra valodu. P\u0113c laba s\u0101kuma attiec\u012bbas izjuka. L\u012bdz beidzot m\u012blest\u012bbas tr\u016bkums nogalin\u0101ja saikni.\u00a0Tas bija patiesas, d\u0101snas m\u012blest\u012bbas tr\u016bkums.<\/strong>\u00a0Galu gal\u0101 m\u0113s m\u012bl\u0113j\u0101m, bet aizmirs\u0101m, ka otram ir svar\u012bgi kaut kas cits.<\/p>\n Eh.<\/p>\n Nu, no otras puses, manas pa\u0161reiz\u0113j\u0101s attiec\u012bbas ar visd\u0101rg\u0101kajiem cilv\u0113kiem ir lab\u0101kas. Ne tikai ar meiten\u0113m, bet ar\u012b vec\u0101kiem un vecvec\u0101kiem. Es sniedzu vi\u0146iem pal\u012bdz\u012bbu, es neapvainojos, kad vi\u0146i man kaut ko sniedz, t\u0101p\u0113c m\u016bsu saikne ir k\u013cuvusi stipr\u0101ka.<\/p>\n T\u0101 bija meitene, kuru piemin\u0113ju, kas mani iedvesmoja ieg\u0101d\u0101ties \u0161o gr\u0101matu. Gr\u0101mata man atg\u0101din\u0101ja attiec\u012bbas.<\/p>\n Ja v\u0113laties atjaunot vecas attiec\u012bbas - paskatieties, varb\u016bt j\u016bs t\u0101s pazaud\u0113j\u0101t t\u0101p\u0113c, ka j\u016bsu valodas nesakrita un j\u016bs abi nesaprat\u0101t?<\/p>\n Ja v\u0113laties nostiprin\u0101t eso\u0161\u0101s, dariet to pa\u0161u. Paskaties, k\u0101 tu pau\u017e savu m\u012blest\u012bbu. Skatieties, k\u0101 citi pau\u017e savu. Un m\u0113\u0123iniet iem\u0101c\u012bties viens otra valodas. S\u0101kot, protams, ar sevi. 17<\/a><\/p>\n M\u012blest\u012bbas valodas nav ma\u0123ija. Var apg\u016bt jaunas valodas.<\/strong><\/p>\n M\u016bsu attiec\u012bbas nenosaka liktenis, horoskopi vai m\u0113ness f\u0101zes. Tos nosaka m\u016bsu r\u012bc\u012bba. Vai m\u0113s izr\u0101d\u0101m savu m\u012blest\u012bbu citiem saprotam\u0101 veid\u0101? Un vai m\u0113s to god\u012bgi par\u0101d\u0101m? Tas ir svar\u012bgi.<\/p>\n Un tagad uzdevums jums:<\/p>\n T\u0101d\u0101 veid\u0101 j\u016bs varat sal\u012bdzin\u0101t sevi ar citiem un p\u0101rliecin\u0101ties, ka m\u0113s esam at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bgi. Un ar\u012b tu uzzin\u0101si, ja v\u0113l neesi sapratis, k\u0101da ir tava m\u012blest\u012bbas valoda.<\/p>\n T\u0101tad, k\u0101 j\u016bs m\u012blat?<\/p>\nPiecas m\u012blest\u012bbas valodas un kas t\u0101s izgudroja?<\/h2>\n
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Un tas ir diezgan interesanti - \u0161\u0137iet, ka valodas past\u0101v, bet k\u0101p\u0113c - neviens nevar izskaidrot.<\/h3>\n
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![\"\"](\"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/penkios-meiles-kalbos-debesyla.jpg.webp\" "\\"\\"")
<\/figure>\nK\u0101das ir piecas m\u012blest\u012bbas valodas?<\/h2>\n
1)\u00a0<\/em>Laiks kop\u0101.<\/h3>\n
2)<\/em> Piesk\u0101rieni.<\/h3>\n
3)<\/em> D\u0101vanas.<\/h3>\n
4)<\/em> Pal\u012bdz\u012bba.<\/h3>\n
5)<\/em> Atbalsta v\u0101rdi.<\/h3>\n
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Vissvar\u012bg\u0101kais m\u012blest\u012bb\u0101 ir sirsn\u012bba.<\/h2>\n
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T\u0101tad... K\u0101da ir mana m\u012blest\u012bbas valoda? Un k\u0101das ir citu cilv\u0113ku valodas?<\/h2>\n
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K\u0101p\u0113c es run\u0101ju par m\u012blest\u012bbas valod\u0101m?<\/h2>\n
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![\"\"](\"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/meiles-zodynas-danielius-goriunovas-knyga.jpg.webp\" "\\"\\"")
<\/figure>\nNu ko tagad? K\u0101 izmantot piecu m\u012blest\u012bbas valodu zin\u0101\u0161anas?<\/h2>\n
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