{"id":7292,"date":"2016-03-09T01:00:02","date_gmt":"2016-03-08T23:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/?p=7292"},"modified":"2021-10-06T01:17:01","modified_gmt":"2021-10-05T22:17:01","slug":"tobulejimas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debesyla.lt\/en\/improvement\/","title":{"rendered":"Personal development leads nowhere. I suggest you grow."},"content":{"rendered":"

Of the many different incomprehensible expressions, sentences and ways of expressing my thoughts, there is one phrase that bothers me more than anything else. That is: 'personal development'.<\/p>\n

...Because isn't it personal development that is most detrimental to our desire to grow, to learn and to live humanly and happily? Isn't it just an invitation to mental masturbation?<\/p>\n

Well, okay. These words of mine may seem strange to you. Especially if you know me as Daniela Debesylas, the author of a blog that seems to be about personal development.<\/p>\n

(If you don't know me, then hello! Nice to meet you.)<\/p>\n

I believe that it is not only what we want to say with our words... but also how we say it.<\/p>\n

And the phrase "personal development" is something I'd like to eradicate in the world of self-development. Not because I'm a chatterbox from VLKK, but only because "improvement" is harmful to everyone who wants to live a better, nicer, fuller and happier life.<\/p>\n

"Development" is a small and poisonous word that we should avoid like the flu. And there are very important reasons for this.<\/p>\n

I'll start from the beginning. I warn you right away - the beginning will be long, and the main point of the article is in the middle and the end. But you'll need this introduction to understand why <\/strong>I encourage you to abandon "improvement".<\/p>\n

This article is for you if you have recently become interested in self-education or, on the contrary, you are an experienced self-education teacher.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps the most important philosopher of the 20th century and the logic of his language.<\/h2>\n

We are what we think. And we mean what we speak. Or rather, we perceive the world through parts of speech (usually words).<\/p>\n

This thought in 1921 in the book "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" 1<\/a> spreading philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein<\/a> <\/strong>shook the academic world at the time. And he became probably the most influential thinker of the 20th century.<\/p>\n

As a person, he was quite a strange personality. And some of his philosophical works are worthy of criticism (and were criticized by him in later years). But one thought is really worth noting:<\/p>\n

"Words and their structures in sentences represent reality." - L. Wittgenstein, philosopher<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

According to Wittgenstein, it is not our thoughts and their lack of originality 2<\/a> invented and introduced words to the world, and words <\/strong>gave ideas to mind. Similar to how a road sign "stop" conveys the idea that it is appropriate to stop.<\/p>\n

In other words, we convey meaning through words.<\/p>\n

And the most interesting thing - since we say and listen to words all our lives (and both of us, probably, mostly in Lithuanian) - these words change our thinking. We think with the words around us. Not in abstractions. Not in bits and pieces.<\/p>\n

And if you don't believe - then wait, stop. And come up with an argument against. I'll be surprised if the thoughts run through your head without using words.<\/p>\n

Contemporary psychology and language research.<\/h3>\n

However, what are some philosopher's ideas worth? Well, he was a respected philosopher, but still? Is there any scientific basis for the idea that words influence thoughts?<\/p>\n

Turns out there is. Wittgenstein was not the only one to talk about the connection between thoughts and words. In a very similar way, but without the call to clean up the language, the world of psychology has drawn attention to this connection.<\/p>\n

It started with the famous Sigmund Freud, 3<\/a> who was still alive in 1922 and delved into the human subconscious and its influence in life. But then everything changed faster Whorf and Sapir<\/a><\/strong> 4<\/a> in honor of those who started the general theory of language and thought.<\/p>\n

This theory argued the same thing as Wittgenstein's and soon became one of the most famous in the world. And if you've ever heard the saying about chukkas and 100 words for snow; or how rare languages don't have words for time, it's the same topic.<\/p>\n

true problem: <\/strong>Whorfism was criticized at the end of the last century for the lack of evidence for a word-action connection. 5<\/a> As neuro-linguistic programming, which originated from Whorfism, came to be. 6<\/a><\/p>\n

But Good news: <\/strong>cognitive psychotherapy<\/a> came to the rescue and became a mediator between these theories in 1967. These research studies are positive. And quite a few of them. 7<\/a><\/p>\n

What we hear is what we think. And when we think, we adapt.<\/p>\n

So. Let's go back to personal development:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

What does "improvement" promote?<\/h2>\n

Four ideas can be linked to personal development. It encourages...<\/p>\n

First:<\/em> ...Never be yourself and become better.<\/h3>\n

Why be yourself when you can be perfect? Energetic like Tim Ferriss, cunning like Niccolo Machiavelli, strong like \u017dydr\u016bnas Savickas and smart like Algimantas \u010cekuolis? 8<\/a><\/p>\n

Some people are also able to turn this aspiration to become better into an idol.For example, in Lithuania there are even three self-improvement projects with such original names as Tobul\u0117jam, 9<\/a> Development 10<\/a> and let's improve. 11<\/a> And yes, they were created by different people.<\/p>\n

In one of them, the author has even founded a Facebook group with the motto "Improve, achieve goals and become an attractive personality".<\/p>\n

Because, you see, if you don't belong to the group of true perfection, whether you are Dalia Grybauskait\u0117 or Old Man Frost, you are not attractive enough. Because you should never be yourself, but you should always be improving, improving...<\/p>\n

Second:<\/em> ...Constantly striving for perfection.<\/h3>\n

If the topic of personality self-development was a popular topic for books and training (hey, wait, it is), then the authors of this topic would be very happy (hey, they are).<\/p>\n

Because you can create endlessly on this topic - even if you repeat the training and sell one idea in fifteen books with different covers - those who want to improve will still buy it.<\/p>\n

Because people who strive for perfection never get enough of it. Indeed, it becomes like an obsession. Instead of learning to learn, you improve to "become better". Illustrations of quotes, tits and cars are shared on Facebook and it is believed that all this will come with perfection. 12<\/a><\/p>\n

The Secret series of books and movies, 13<\/a> Robert T. Kiyosaki's Rich and Poor Dads books 14<\/a> and the Dale Carnegie Association, 15<\/a> knows well the endless desire to improve. And this is how smart businessmen exploit it to earn euros. Roughly 12 billion euros per year in the US alone<\/a>. 16<\/a><\/p>\n

Just a question:<\/strong> How does the constant pursuit of perfection benefit the aspirant? Especially when the mindset changes from "I learned and I'm happy" to "I learned and I'm happy, but I want to become EVEN better"?<\/p>\n

Personal development drives obsession.<\/p>\n

Third:<\/em> ...To reach a perfect level, defined by no one.<\/h3>\n

But wait, what defines perfection? And as I mentioned, how beneficial is it to the aspiring? Unfortunately, perfection is often defined by the same salespeople of the "perfect life".<\/p>\n

Some say that the perfect life is living in wealth, others say that the most important thing is to hang a beautiful girl with bangs (mmm bangs!). The third goes to the point that the perfect person is the one who follows some religion.<\/p>\n

And a person who has fallen into the trap of personal development will never think about whether his goal will help him achieve that kind of "perfection". Why the "why" questions when you can buy, buy, learn, boost your ego by sharing all kinds of quotes and otherwise masturbate?<\/p>\n

Why live imperfectly if you can buy books and teachings and strive for the highest level of spiritual and physical Perfection? 17<\/a><\/p>\n

Fourth:<\/em> ...To live perfectly.<\/h3>\n

And finally, perhaps it is possible to combine all the above ideas into one. It is a call, sometimes even a forced one, to live a perfect life.But what is that perfect life? Seriously. Answer me, because I don't know.<\/p>\n

Is the life in which you are the way you are - maybe not the best, but more or less satisfied - perfect or imperfect? And my grandparents, who didn't know their "meaning of life" all their lives, were they perfect or not?<\/p>\n

And if life is imperfect, is it worth living? Maybe it's better to go kill yourself right away and then reincarnate into some cat that sleeps half the day and snoozes the other half?<\/p>\n

Is the perfect life when you buy books about perfection and never feel truly happy?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Again, a serious question.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Let's replace "perfection" with growth.<\/h2>\n

But I suggest another way. Instead of struggling with an unattainable Perfection invented by some shrewd businessman, we can grow. Like trees. We can learn and be happy together.<\/p>\n

I suggest changing the phrase personal improvement to personal growth first. And then, gradually, to change the perception of yourself and those around you, what is the meaning of that self-development.<\/p>\n

Because its meaning is really not to buy expensive courses just because someone suggested it.<\/p>\n

Personal growth would boost...<\/p>\n

A)<\/em> ...To be yourself, in your own way.<\/h3>\n

Imagine a tall, 25-year-old oak tree growing in the corner of your backyard...<\/p>\n

I have two questions:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Is this tree perfect?<\/li>\n
  2. Has he grown big?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The answer to the first question is quite straightforward - it is there is no <\/strong>perfect tree Its trunk is crooked, in some places wrapped around the bars of the gazebo, bent and arched by the wind. Its foliage isn't oval or circular, and it's only home to maybe three blackbirds, not twelve.<\/p>\n

    But this tree grew from an acorn. This is how all oak trees appear - no one gives birth to them and does not artificially print them.<\/p>\n

    It grew and grew. And it is likely to continue to grow, because no one is going to cut it down.An oak tree planted by my grandfather when he came back from his first heart surgery, 18<\/a> grew up big. And it holds nests for starlings and thrushes. Its leaves are delicious to earthworms and the shade is pleasant on a hot day.<\/p>\n

    Why should we, who desire to develop ourselves, abandon such a natural, human order of growth and seek artificial perfection? We can grow like trees. Not necessarily perfect, but there happily.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    A life of growing up in your own way is better than striving for an impossible standard of beauty, success, and happiness.<\/p>\n

    Who has the right to say that in order to be happy it is necessary to do sports, get up at four in the morning, read a lot of books or, say, start a family?<\/p>\n

    After all, some people are happy without listening to all kinds of guru advice. Probably just because they live their own way.<\/p>\n

    b)<\/em> ...Take perceived action.<\/h3>\n

    Well, if you're thinking that personal development is also educational, it is you are right. <\/strong>But growth in education works better. Because:<\/p>\n

    Growth is a perceived verb. It calls for growth. Upwards, sideways and rooted in the ground. And growth invites... What exactly to do?<\/p>\n

    What exactly is "improvement"? Where did this word come from in our languages? And what does it mean? After all, no one says "the tree began to improve" or "the plumber improved the water pipe".<\/p>\n

    ...And \"growth\" is a word that even the smallest children understand.<\/p>\n

    Personal growth encourages doing what philosophers such as Immanuel Kant<\/a>, who lived in Lithuania Minor in 1724-1804, named growth as the essence of man. And this word says more than improvement.<\/p>\n

    c)<\/em> ...Accept your life as YOURS.<\/h3>\n

    And then, although it is not encoded in the word "growth", it is written in the full phrase. Personal growth is growth where a person grows as a person. Personally and myself.<\/p>\n

    It is not the propagation of a grove of trees and it is not the creation of a successful business. But this is your personal journey, on your own personal path.<\/p>\n

    And it helps to remember that the people most able to change ourselves... are ourselves. Although others influence us, our actions remain the most important, which helps us to take control of ourselves. 19<\/a><\/p>\n

    The idea: let's start growing, not procrastinating for perfection.<\/h2>\n

    I encourage you to join. No matter who you are - a newbie in self-education in search of yourself (or happiness) or a professional teacher in this field. And replace the addictive word with a freer one.<\/p>\n

    It's a small change in language, but a big change in thought.<\/strong> Small in word, but big in life. Little work, big rewards.<\/p>\n

    We need to put an end to personal "improvement". Time for growth.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    For growth that is natural. 20<\/a><\/p>\n

    ...Are you joining?<\/p>\n

    \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n <\/svg>\n <\/div>\n \"Daniel\"<\/noscript>\n

    1. First published in German, Annalen der Naturphilosophie; you can read the German version here<\/a>. The work was translated into English by Kegan Paul; you can read the translations here<\/a> or, in my preferred format, on this interactive page<\/a>. Press the pluses and you will open more detailed sections of the book. That's how Wittgenstein wrote - in points.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    2. I told you about it "There is no originality. And all the world's most famous creators knew this"<\/a>.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    3. The same dude<\/a>, who studied all kinds of sexualities of children, parents, and mothers, and was basically the pioneer of psychotherapy.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    4. Edward Sapir<\/a> was an anthropologist and linguist who lived in the USA in 1884-1939. Benjamin Lee Whorf<\/a> \u2013 a linguist who lived in the USA between 1897 and 1941. With these days VLKK<\/a> linguists Whorf and Sapir are difficult to compare. They were among the first language researchers who did scientific research work.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    5. Basel Al-Sheikh Hussein tells more in his review The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis Today<\/a>.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    6. You can read about this criticism on Wikipedia<\/a>. There are many links to research.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    7. You will find more in the 1982 edition "Toward a Cognitive Psychology of Syntax"<\/a>, in 1986 "Syntactic Persistence in Language Production"<\/a> and 2006 "The empirical status of cognitive-behavioral therapy"<\/a>.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    8. It is said that once three trainees asked \u010cekuolis for cigarettes. After a brief conversation of a few minutes, they walked away with their doctorates.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    9. \u200bUpdate January 2021:<\/strong> There was 'tobulejam.lt', but the page closed and the domain was bought by obscure persons.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    10. This one is now closed - it was a forum for personal growth that set itself big goals.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    11. This is a business training classifieds portal. Money, money.<\/a>↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    12. Or even more inspiration.<\/a>↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    13. Which suddenly appeared in our world in 2006 and enslaved the heads of millions of people absurd nonsense<\/a>. "The Secret" contains no new ideas and presents them through mystical, supposedly scientific examples, using twisted quotes from Albert Einstein and various unknown personalities. This is content made for sales.<\/a> Not for help.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    14. Which unexpectedly turned into N-part epics for every possible buyer.<\/a> I could probably repeat everything I'm saying now, specifically for women, changing the genders of the references, and then announce that I've created something completely new.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    15. I'd better not even start on this...<\/a>↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    16. In comparison - in 2016 Lithuania's GDP in the third quarter was worth 10.34 billion euros<\/a>. The development market is still winning.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    17. Psychologist Lina V\u0113\u017eelien\u0117 wrote an article about this: "Goals That Lead to Nowhere, or When Do Self-Help and Self-Deception Go Hand in Hand?"<\/a>. I recommend it. As recommended by the other 4,200 readers who have shared the article.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    18. Or, in other words, given a second life.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    19. Do what is important to you. To love yourself.<\/a>↩<\/a><\/p><\/li>

    20. You can also choose other words, such as "educate", "teach", "repair", "build" or something like that, as mentioned by the Debesylians in the comments below. But I personally stick with growth. At least it's not as imprisoning as the pursuit of perfection.↩<\/a><\/p><\/li><\/ol><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      \u200bI\u0161 daugelio \u012fvairi\u0173 nesuvokiam\u0173 posaki\u0173, sakini\u0173 ir b\u016bd\u0173 i\u0161sakyti savo mintis yra viena fraz\u0117, kuri mane u\u017eknisa labiau, nei kas kita. Tai yra: \u201easmeninis tobul\u0117jimas\u201c. …Nes argi asmeninis tobul\u0117jimas n\u0117ra tai, kas labiausiai kenkia m\u016bs\u0173 norui augti, mokytis ir gyventi \u017emogi\u0161kai bei laimingai? Argi tai n\u0117ra tik kvietimas u\u017esiimti protine masturbacija? Na, bet gerai. Tau […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":18114,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"

      I\u0161 daugelio \u012fvairi\u0173 nesuvokiam\u0173 posaki\u0173, sakini\u0173 ir b\u016bd\u0173 i\u0161sakyti savo mintis yra viena fraz\u0117, kuri mane u\u017eknisa labiau, nei kas kita. Tai yra: \u201easmeninis tobul\u0117jimas\u201c.<\/p>

      ...Nes argi asmeninis tobul\u0117jimas n\u0117ra tai, kas labiausiai kenkia m\u016bs\u0173 norui augti, mokytis ir gyventi \u017emogi\u0161kai bei laimingai? Argi tai n\u0117ra tik kvietimas u\u017esiimti protine masturbacija?<\/p>

      Na, bet gerai. Tau \u0161ie mano \u017eod\u017eiai gali pasirodyti keisti. Ypa\u010d, jei mane pa\u017e\u012fsti kaip Danieli\u0173 Debesyl\u0105 \u2013 tinklara\u0161\u010dio autori\u0173, rodos, ra\u0161ant\u012f apie asmenin\u012f tobul\u0117jim\u0105.<\/p>

      (Jei nepa\u017e\u012fsti, tada labas! Man malonu susipa\u017einti.)<\/p>

      Mano \u012fsitikinimu, svarbu ne tik k\u0105 norime savo \u017eod\u017eiais pasakyti... Bet ir kaip mes tai sakome.<\/p>

      O fraz\u0117 \u201easmeninis tobul\u0117jimas\u201c yra tai, k\u0105 nor\u0117\u010diau i\u0161naikinti saviugdos pasaulyje. Ne tod\u0117l, kad b\u016b\u010diau kalbajobas i\u0161 VLKK, o tik tod\u0117l, kad \u201etobu\u00adl\u0117jimas\u201c kenkia visiems, norintiems gyventi geriau, maloniau, so\u010diau ir laimingiau.<\/p>

      \u201eTobul\u0117jimas\u201c yra ma\u017eas ir nuodingas \u017eodis, kurio tur\u0117tume vengti kaip gripo. Ir tam yra labai svarbios prie\u017eastys.<\/p>

      Prad\u0117siu nuo prad\u017ei\u0173. I\u0161 karto persp\u0117ju \u2013 prad\u017eia bus ilgoka, o pagrindin\u0117 straipsnio esm\u0117 yra ties viduriu ir pabaiga. Ta\u010diau \u0161ios \u012f\u017eangos reik\u0117s, kad suprastum kod\u0117l <\/strong>skatinu atsisakyti \u201etobul\u0117jimo\u201c.<\/p>

      \u0160is straipsnis skirtas tau, jei neseniai prad\u0117jai dom\u0117tis saviugda arba prie\u0161ingai \u2013 esi patyr\u0119s saviugdos mokytojas.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>

      \"\"<\/span><\/div>

      Galb\u016bt svarbiausias 20-to am\u017eiaus filosofas ir jo kalbos logika.<\/h2>

      Mes esame tai, k\u0105 galvojame. O galvojame tai, k\u0105 kalbame. Ar tiksliau \u2013 per kalbos dalis (da\u017eniausiai \u017eod\u017eius) suvokiame pasaul\u012f.<\/p>

      \u0160i\u0105 mint\u012f 1921 metais knygoje \u201eTractatus Logico-Philosophicus\u201c [ftn]Pirm\u0105 kart\u0105 i\u0161leista voki\u0161kai, \u017eurnale \u201eAnnalen der Naturphilosophie\u201c; voki\u0161k\u0105j\u0105 versij\u0105 gali skaityti \u010dia<\/a>. K\u016brinio vertimu \u012f angl\u0173 kalb\u0105 pasir\u016bpino Kegan Paul; vertimus gali skaityti \u010dia<\/a> arba, man patinkan\u010diu formatu, \u0161iame interaktyviame puslapyje<\/a>. Paspausk pliusus ir atversi detalesnes knygos sekcijas. Wittgensteinas taip ir ra\u0161\u0117 \u2013 punktais.[\/ftn] pasklei\u00add\u0119s filosofas Ludwigas Wittgensteinas<\/a> <\/strong>sukret\u0117 tuometin\u012f akademin\u012f pasaul\u012f. Ir tapo turb\u016bt \u012ftakingiausiu XX am\u017eiaus m\u0105stytoju.<\/p>

      Kaip \u017emogus jis buvo gana keistoka asmenyb\u0117. Ir kai kurie jo filosofiniai veikalai verti kritikos (ir v\u0117lesniais metais jo paties buvo kritikuoti). Ta\u010diau viena mintis i\u0161ties verta d\u0117mesio:<\/p>

      \u201e\u017dod\u017eiai ir j\u0173 strukt\u016bros sakiniuose atvaizduoja realyb\u0119.\u201c \u2013 L. Wittgensteinas, filosofas<\/blockquote>

      Wittgensteino teigimu, ne m\u016bs\u0173 mintys ir j\u0173 nesamas originalumas [ftn]Apie tai pasakojau \u201eOriginalumo n\u0117ra. Ir tai \u017einojo visi \u017eymiausi pasaulio k\u016br\u0117jai\u201c<\/a>.[\/ftn] i\u0161rado bei pasauliui pateik\u0117 \u017eod\u017eius, o \u017eod\u017eiai <\/strong>mintims suteik\u0117 id\u0117jas. Pana\u0161iai kaip kelio \u017eenklas \u201estop\u201c perduoda id\u0117j\u0105, jog dera stoti.<\/p>

      Kitaip tariant, per \u017eod\u017eius perduodame prasmes.<\/p>

      Ir kas \u012fdomiausia \u2013 kadangi \u017eod\u017eius sakome ir klausome vis\u0105 gyvenim\u0105 (o mes abu, turb\u016bt, daugiausiai lietuvi\u0173 kalba) \u2013 \u0161ie \u017eod\u017eiai kei\u010dia m\u016bs\u0173 m\u0105stym\u0105. Mes galvojame \u017eod\u017eiais, esan\u010diais aplinkui. Ne abstraktumais. Ne nuliukais ir vienetukais.<\/p>

      Ir jei netiki \u2013 tada palauk, sustok. Ir sugalvok kok\u012f argument\u0105 prie\u0161. Nustebsiu, jei mintys tavo galvoje suksis nenaudojant \u017eod\u017ei\u0173.<\/p>

      \u0160iuolaikin\u0117 psichologija ir moksliniai kalbos tyrimai.<\/h3>

      Ta\u010diau, ko vertos ka\u017ekokio filosofo id\u0117jos? Na gerai, jis buvo gerbiamas filosofas, ta\u010diau visgi? Ar yra koks mokslinis pagrindas id\u0117jai, jog \u017eod\u017eiai daro \u012ftak\u0105 mintims?<\/p>

      Pasirodo yra. Wittgensteinas nebuvo vienintelis, kalb\u0117j\u0119s apie min\u010di\u0173 ir \u017eod\u017ei\u0173 ry\u0161\u012f. Labai pana\u0161iai, tik be kvietimo i\u0161valyti kalb\u0105, \u012f \u0161\u012f ry\u0161\u012f d\u0117mes\u012f atkreip\u0117 ir psichologijos pasaulis.<\/p>

      Prasid\u0117jo tai nuo \u017eymiojo Sigmundo Froido, [ftn]To pa\u010dio bi\u010diuko<\/a>, kuris visokius vaik\u0173, t\u0117v\u0173, mam\u0173 seksualumus tyr\u0117, bei, i\u0161 esm\u0117s, buvo psichoterapijos pradininkas.[\/ftn] kuris 1922 metais buvo dar gyvas ir gilinosi \u012f \u017emogaus pas\u0105mon\u0119 bei jos \u012ftak\u0105 gyvenime. Ta\u010diau tada viskas grei\u010diau per\u0117jo toki\u0173 Whorf ir Sapir<\/a><\/strong> [ftn]Edward Sapir<\/a> buvo 1884-1939 metais gyven\u0119s JAV antropologas ir kalbininkas. Benjamin Lee Whorf<\/a> \u2013 1897\u20131941 metais gyven\u0119s JAV kalbininkas. Su \u0161i\u0173 dien\u0173 VLKK<\/a> kalbininkais Whorf ir Sapir sunku lyginti. Jie buvo vieni pirm\u0173j\u0173 kalbos tyr\u0117j\u0173, dirbusi\u0173 mokslin\u012f, tiriam\u0105j\u012f darb\u0105.[\/ftn] garbei, prad\u0117jusi\u0173 bendr\u0105 kalbos ir m\u0105stymo teorij\u0105.<\/p>

      \u0160i teorija teig\u0117 t\u0105 pat\u012f dalyk\u0105, kaip ir Wittgensteino ir greitai tapo
      viena \u017einomiausi\u0173 pasaulyje. O jei kada gird\u0117jai posakius apie \u010diuk\u010dias ir 100 \u017eod\u017ei\u0173 sniegui apib\u016bdinti; ar kaip retos kalbos neturi \u017eod\u017ei\u0173 laikui apib\u016bdinti \u2013 \u010dia ta pati tema.<\/p>

      Tiesa, problema: <\/strong>Whorfizmas praeito am\u017eiaus gale sulauk\u0117 kritikos d\u0117l \u017eod\u017eio-veiksm\u0173 ry\u0161io \u012frodym\u0173 tr\u016bkumo. [ftn]Pla\u010diau pasakoja Basel Al-Sheikh Hussein savo ap\u017evalgoje \u201eThe Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis Today\u201c<\/a>.[\/ftn] Kaip ir sulauk\u0117 i\u0161 Whorfizmo kil\u0119s neurolingvistinis programavimas. [ftn]Apie \u0161i\u0105 kritik\u0105 gali skaityti Vikipedijoje<\/a>. Rasi daug nuorod\u0173 \u012f mokslinius tyrimus.[\/ftn]<\/p>

      Bet geros naujienos: <\/strong>kognityvin\u0117 psichoterapija<\/a> at\u0117jo \u012f pagalb\u0105 ir 1967 metais tapo tarpininke tarp \u0161i\u0173 teorij\u0173. \u0160ie atlikti moksliniai tyrimai yra pozityv\u016bs. Ir j\u0173 nema\u017eai. [ftn]Atrasi daugiau 1982-ais metais i\u0161leistame \u201eToward a Cognitive Psychology of Syntax\u201c<\/a>, 1986-tais metais \u201eSyntactic Persistence in Language Production\u201c<\/a> ir 2006-t\u0173j\u0173 \u201eThe empirical status of cognitive-behavioral therapy\u201c<\/a>.[\/ftn]<\/p>

      Tai, k\u0105 girdime, mes ir galvojame. O galvodami pritaikome.<\/p>

      Taigi. Gr\u012f\u017eime prie asmeninio tobul\u0117jimo:<\/p><\/div>

      \"\"<\/span><\/div>

      K\u0105 skatina \u201etobul\u0117jimas\u201c?<\/h2>

      Su asmeniniu tobul\u0117jimu galima susieti keturias id\u0117jas. Jis skatina...<\/p>

      Pirma:<\/em> ...Niekada neb\u016bti savimi ir tapti geresniu.<\/h3>

      Kam b\u016bti savimi, jei gali b\u016bti tobulas? Energingas kaip Tim Feriss, gudrus kaip Niccolo Machiavelli, stiprus kaip \u017dydr\u016bnas Savickas ir protingas kaip Algimantas \u010cekuolis? [ftn]Sakoma, kad kart\u0105 trys treninguo\u010diai papra\u0161\u0117 \u010cekuolio cigare\u010di\u0173. Po trumpo keli\u0173 minu\u010di\u0173 pokalbio jie nu\u0117jo \u012fgij\u0119 daktaro laipsnius.[\/ftn]<\/p>

      Kai kurie \u017emon\u0117s \u0161\u012f siek\u012f tapti geresniais taip pat sugeba paversti stabu.
      Pavyzd\u017eiui, Lietuvoje yra net trys saviugdos projektai, tokiais originaliais pavadinimais kaip: Tobul\u0117jam, [ftn]Atnaujinimas 2021 saus\u012f:<\/strong> Buvo 'tobulejam.lt', ta\u010diau puslapis u\u017esidar\u0117 ir domen\u0105 perpirko neai\u0161k\u016bs asmenys.[\/ftn] Tobul\u0117jimas [ftn]\u0160is jau u\u017esidar\u0117 \u2013 buvo didelius tikslus sau k\u0117l\u0119s asmeninio augimo<\/del> tobul\u0117jimo forumas.[\/ftn] bei Tobul\u0117kim. [ftn]      \u0160is yra verslo mokym\u0173 skelbim\u0173 portalas. Pinigai, pinigai\u010diai.<\/a>[\/ftn] Ir taip \u2013 juos k\u016br\u0117 skirtingi \u017emon\u0117s.<\/p>

      Viename j\u0173 autorius yra net \u012fk\u016br\u0119s ir feisbuko grup\u0119, su \u0161\u016bkiu \u201eTobul\u0117k, siek tiksl\u0173 ir tapk patrauklia asmenybe\u201c.<\/p>

      Nes, matai, jei nepriklausai tikro tobulumo grupei, nesvarbu, ar tu Dalia Grybauskait\u0117 ar Senis \u0160altis, esi nepakankamai patrauklus. Nes niekada netur\u0117tum b\u016bti savimi, o visada tur\u0117tum tobul\u0117ti, tobul\u0117ti...<\/p>

      Antra:<\/em> ...Nuolat siekti tobulumo.<\/h3>

      Jei asmenyb\u0117s saviugdos tema b\u016bt\u0173 populiari knyg\u0173 ir mokym\u0173 tema (ei, palauk, ji yra), tai \u0161ios temos autoriai b\u016bt\u0173 labai patenkinti (ei, jie yra).<\/p>

      Nes \u0161ia tema gali kurti be galo \u2013 kad ir kartoti mokymus bei pardavin\u0117ti vien\u0105 id\u0117j\u0105 penkiolikoje knyg\u0173 skirtingais vir\u0161eliais \u2013 vis tiek norintys tobul\u0117ti tai pirks.<\/p>

      Nes \u017emon\u0117s, siekiantys tobulumo, jo niekada negana. I\u0161ties, tai tampa kaip manija. U\u017euot mokiusis, jog i\u0161moktum, tobul\u0117jama, kad \u201etap\u010diau tobulesnis\u201c. Feisbuke dalinamasi iliustracijomis su citatomis, papais bei automobiliais ir tikima, jog visa tai ateis su tobulumu. [ftn]Ar dar daugiau \u012fkv\u0117pimo.<\/a>[\/ftn]<\/p>

      \u201ePaslapties\u201c knyg\u0173 ir film\u0173 serija, [ftn]Kuri netik\u0117tai atsirado m\u016bs\u0173 pasaulyje 2006 metais ir paverg\u0117 milijon\u0173 \u017emoni\u0173 galvas savo absurdi\u0161komis nes\u0105mon\u0117mis<\/a>. \u201ePaslaptyje\u201c n\u0117ra nauj\u0173 id\u0117j\u0173 ir jos pateikiamos per mistinius, tariamai mokslinius pavyzd\u017eius, naudojant i\u0161kreiptas Alberto Ein\u0161teino ir \u012fvairi\u0173 ne\u017einom\u0173 asmenybi\u0173 citatas. Tai turinys sukurtas pardavimams.<\/a> Ne pagalbai.[\/ftn] Robert T. Kiyosaki \u201eTurtingo ir neturtingo t\u0117\u010di\u0173\u201c knygos [ftn]Kurios netik\u0117tai pavirto N dali\u0173 epop\u0117jomis kiekvienam \u012fmanomui pirk\u0117jui.<\/a> A\u0161 turb\u016bt gal\u0117\u010diau pakartoti visk\u0105, k\u0105 sakau dabar, specialiai moterims, pakei\u010diant kreipini\u0173 lytis, o tada skelbti, kad suk\u016briau ka\u017ek\u0105 visi\u0161kai naujo.[\/ftn] ir Dale Carnegie asociacija, [ftn]Net geriau neprad\u0117siu apie \u0161i\u0105...<\/a>[\/ftn] begalin\u012f tro\u0161kim\u0105 tobul\u0117ti i\u0161mano gerai. Ir tai, kaip protingi verslininkai, i\u0161naudoja u\u017edirbti eurams. Daugma\u017e 12 milijard\u0173 eur\u0173 per metus vien JAV<\/a>. [ftn]Palyginimui \u2013 2016 m. tre\u010dio ketvir\u010dio Lietuvos BVP buvo 10,34 milijardo eur\u0173 vert\u0117s<\/a>. Tobul\u0117jimo rinka tenais vis tiek laimi.[\/ftn]<\/p>

      Tik klausimas:<\/strong> Kiek nuolatinis tobulumo siekimas naudingas siekiantiems? Ypa\u010d kai m\u0105stymas pasikei\u010dia i\u0161 \u201ei\u0161mokau ir esu laimingas\u201c \u012f \u201ei\u0161mokau, esu laimingas, ta\u010diau noriu tapti DAR tobulesnis\u201c?<\/p>

      Asmeninis tobul\u0117jimas skatina manij\u0105.<\/p>

      Tre\u010dia:<\/em> ...Pasiekti tobul\u0105, ne\u017einia kieno apibr\u0117\u017et\u0105 lyg\u012f.<\/h3>

      Ta\u010diau palauk, o kas apibr\u0117\u017eia tobulum\u0105? Ir kaip min\u0117jau, kiek tai naudinga to siekiantiems? Deja, da\u017eniausiai tobulum\u0105 apibr\u0117\u017eia tie patys \u201etobulo gyvenimo\u201c pardavin\u0117tojai.<\/p>

      Vieni teigia, kad tobulas gyvenimas yra gyventi aptekus turtais, kiti teigia, kad svarbiausia pakabinti gra\u017ei\u0105 paping\u0105 mergin\u0105 (mmm, papukai!). Treti i\u0161vis pereina prie to, kad tobulas \u017emogus tas, kuris seka paskui ka\u017ekoki\u0105 religij\u0105.<\/p>

      O \u017emogus, pakliuv\u0119s \u012f asmeninio tobul\u0117jimo sp\u0105stus, niekada negalvos ar jo tikslas pad\u0117s pasiekti t\u0105 ka\u017ekok\u012f \u201etobulum\u0105\u201c. Kam tie klausimai \u201ekod\u0117l\u201c, jei galima pirkti, pirkti, mokytis, didinti savo ego dalinantis visokiomis citatomis ir kitaip masturbuotis?<\/p>

      Kam gyventi netobulai, jei galima pirkti knygas bei mokymus ir siekti auk\u0161\u010diausio dvasinio, fizinio Tobulumo lygio? [ftn]Apie tai straipsn\u012f yra ra\u0161iusi psicholog\u0117 Lina V\u0117\u017eelien\u0117: \u201eTikslai vedantys \u012f niekur arba kada savipagalba ir saviapgaul\u0117 \u017eengia koja \u012f koj\u0105?\u201c<\/a>. Rekomenduoju. Kaip ir rekomenduoja kiti 4,2 t\u016bkst. straipsniu pasidalinusi\u0173 skaitytoj\u0173.[\/ftn]<\/p>

      Ketvirta:<\/em> ...Gyventi tobulai.<\/h3>

      Ir galiausiai, turb\u016bt galima sujungti visas auk\u0161\u010diau i\u0161vardintas id\u0117jas \u012f vien\u0105. Tai raginimas, kartais net skambantis priverstinai, gyventi tobul\u0105 gyvenim\u0105.
      Ta\u010diau koks yra tas tobulas gyvenimas? Rimtai. Atsakyk man, nes a\u0161 ne\u017einau.<\/p>

      Ar gyvenimas, kuriame esi toks, koks esi \u2013 gal ir ne geriausias, bet daugiau ma\u017eiau patenkintas \u2013 tobulas ar netobulas? O mano seneliai, kurie vis\u0105 gyvenim\u0105 ne\u017einojo savo ka\u017ekokios \u201egyvenimo prasm\u0117s\u201c, buvo tobuli ar visgi ne?<\/p>

      O jei gyvenimas netobulas, tai ar j\u012f verta gyventi? Gal geriau eit i\u0161kart nusi\u017eudyt ir tada reinkarnuotis \u012f koki\u0105 kat\u0119, kuri pus\u0119 dienos miega, o kit\u0105 pus\u0119 sn\u016bduriuoja?<\/p>

      Ar tobulas gyvenimas yra tuomet, kai perki knygas apie tobulum\u0105 ir niekada nesijauti i\u0161ties laimingu?<\/strong><\/p>

      V\u0117lgi rimtas klausimas.<\/p><\/div>

      \"\"<\/span><\/div>

      Pakeiskime \u201etobulum\u0105\u201c augimu.<\/h2>

      Bet a\u0161 si\u016blau kit\u0105 keli\u0105. Vietoj to, kad vargtume su nepasiekiamu ir ka\u017ekokio gudraus verslininko i\u0161galvotu Tobulumu, mes galime augti. Kaip med\u017eiai. Mes galime mokytis ir kartu b\u016bti laimingi.<\/p>

      A\u0161 si\u016blau pirmiausiai pakeisti asmeninio tobulumo fraz\u0119 \u012f asmenin\u012f augim\u0105. O tuomet, pama\u017eu, pakeisti ir savo bei aplinkini\u0173 suvokim\u0105, kokia gi tos saviugdos prasm\u0117.<\/p>

      Nes jos prasm\u0117 tikrai n\u0117ra pirkti brangius kursus vien tod\u0117l, jog ka\u017ekas pasi\u016bl\u0117.<\/p>

      Asmeninis augimas skatint\u0173...<\/p>

      A)<\/em> ...B\u016bti savimi, savaip.<\/h3>

      \u012esivaizduok auk\u0161t\u0105, dvide\u0161imt penkeri\u0173 met\u0173 \u0105\u017euol\u0105, augant\u012f tavo kiemo kampe...<\/p>

      Turiu du klausimus:<\/p>

      1. Ar \u0161is medis tobulas?<\/li>
      2. Ar jis i\u0161augo didelis?<\/li><\/ol>

        Atsakymas \u012f pirm\u0105 klausim\u0105 gana tiesus \u2013 tai n\u0117ra <\/strong>tobulas medis. Jo kamienas kreivas, kai kur ap\u017eioj\u0119s pav\u0117sin\u0117s strypus, v\u0117jo lenktas ir i\u0161lenktas. Jo lapija n\u0117ra ovalo ar apskritimo formos ir jame gyvena gal tik trys juodvarniai, ne dvylika.<\/p>

        Ta\u010diau \u0161is medis i\u0161augo i\u0161 gil\u0117s. Taip atsiranda visi \u0105\u017euolai \u2013 j\u0173 gi niekas negimdo ir dirbtiniu b\u016bdu nespausdina.<\/p>

        Jis augo ir i\u0161augo. Ir tik\u0117tina, kad augs toliau, nes niekas nesiruo\u0161ia jo pjauti.
        \u0104\u017euolas, kur\u012f pasodino senelis, gr\u012f\u017e\u0119s po pirmosios savo \u0161irdies operacijos, [ftn]Arba, kitaip tariant, gav\u0119s antr\u0105 gyvenim\u0105.[\/ftn] u\u017eaugo didelis. Ir jame telpa inkilai varn\u0117nams bei strazdui. Jo lapai skan\u016bs kirminiukams, o pav\u0117sis malonus kar\u0161t\u0105 dien\u0105.<\/p>

        Kod\u0117l mes, trok\u0161tantys ugdyti save, tur\u0117tume atsisakyti tokios nat\u016bralios, \u017emogi\u0161kos augimo tvarkos ir siekti dirbtinio tobulumo? Mes juk galime augti kaip med\u017eiai. Neb\u016btinai tobulai, bet u\u017etat laimingai.<\/strong><\/p>

        Gyvenimas augant savaip geresnis, nei siekiant ne\u012fmanomo gro\u017eio, s\u0117km\u0117s ir laim\u0117s standarto.<\/p>

        Kas turi teis\u0119 sakyti, jog norint b\u016bti laimingam b\u016btina sportuoti, keltis ketvirt\u0105 ryto, skaityti daug knyg\u0173 ar, tarkim, kurti \u0161eim\u0105?<\/p>

        Juk kai kurie \u017emon\u0117s yra laimingi ir neklausydami visoki\u0173 guru patarim\u0173. Turb\u016bt vien tod\u0117l, kad jie gyvena savaip.<\/p>

        B)<\/em> ...Imtis suvokiam\u0173 veiksm\u0173.<\/h3>

        Na, jei tavo galvoje trankosi mintis, kad asmeninis tobul\u0117jimas taip pat ugdo, tai tavo tiesa. <\/strong>Ta\u010diau augimas ugdyme veikia geriau. Nes:<\/p>

        Augimas yra suvokiamas veiksma\u017eodis. Jis kvie\u010dia augti. Vir\u0161un, \u012f \u0161onus ir \u0161aknimis \u012f \u017eem\u0119. O tobul\u0117jimas kvie\u010dia... K\u0105 b\u016btent daryti?<\/p>

        Kas b\u016btent yra \u201etobulinimas\u201c? I\u0161 kur \u0161is \u017eodis i\u0161vis atsirado m\u016bs\u0173 kalbose? Ir k\u0105 jis rei\u0161kia? Juk niekas nesako \u201emedis prad\u0117jo tobul\u0117ti\u201c ar \u201esantechnikas sutobulino vandentiek\u012f\u201c.<\/p>

        ...O \u201eaugimas\u201c yra toks \u017eodis, kur\u012f supranta net ma\u017eiausi vaikai.<\/p>

        Asmeninis augimas skatina daryti tai, k\u0105 filosofai, tokie kaip Imanuelis Kantas<\/a>, gyven\u0119s 1724-1804 metais Ma\u017eojoje Lietuvoje, \u012fvardino kaip \u017emogaus esm\u0119 \u2013 augti. Ir \u0161is \u017eodis pasako daugiau, nei tobul\u0117jimas.<\/p>

        C)<\/em> ...Priimti savo gyvenim\u0105 kaip SAVO.<\/h3>

        Ir tuomet, nors tai n\u0117ra u\u017e\u0161ifruota \u017eodyje \u201eaugimas\u201c, ta\u010diau u\u017era\u0161yta pilnoje fraz\u0117je. Asmeninis augimas yra augimas, kai \u017emogus auga kaip asmuo. Asmeni\u0161kai ir pats.<\/p>

        Tai ne med\u017ei\u0173 girait\u0117s dauginimas ir ne s\u0117kmingo verslo k\u016brimas. Bet tai tavo asmenin\u0117 kelion\u0117, tavo asmeniniu keliu.<\/p>

        Ir tai padeda nepamir\u0161ti, kad \u017emon\u0117s, labiausiai galintys pakeisti save... Esame mes patys. Nors kiti mums daro \u012ftak\u0105, ta\u010diau m\u016bs\u0173 veiksmai i\u0161lieka svarbiausi, o tai padeda suimti save \u012f rankas. [ftn]Daryti tai, kas tau yra svarbu. Pamilti save.<\/a>[\/ftn]<\/p>

        Id\u0117ja: prad\u0117kime augti, ne atid\u0117lioti siekiant tobulumo.<\/h2>

        Raginu tave prisijungti. Kad ir kas b\u016btum \u2013 sav\u0119s (ar laim\u0117s) ie\u0161kantis saviugdos naujokas, ar profesionalus \u0161ios srities mokytojas. Ir pakeisti priklausomyb\u0119 keliant\u012f \u017eod\u012f laisvesniu.<\/p>

        Tai ma\u017eas pokytis kalboje, bet didelis mintyse.<\/strong> Ma\u017eas \u017eodyje, ta\u010diau didelis gyvenime. Ma\u017eas darbas, o atlygis mil\u017eini\u0161kas.<\/p>

        Asmeniniam \u201etobul\u0117jimui\u201c turime padaryti gal\u0105. Laikas augimui.<\/strong><\/p>

        Augimui, kuris yra nat\u016bralus. [ftn]Gali rinktis ir kitus \u017eod\u017eius, kaip \u201eugdyti\u201c, \u201emokyti\u201c, \u201etaisyti\u201c, \u201estatyti\u201c ar pana\u0161iai, kaip mini debesylie\u010diai komentaruose \u017eemiau. Bet a\u0161 asmeni\u0161kai pasilieku su augimu. Tai bent ne\u012fkalina, kaip tobulumo vaikymasis.[\/ftn]<\/p>

        ...Ar prisijungi?<\/p>

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