...For example, \"be yourself\", \"think positively\", \"imagine how you will achieve your goals\", \"love yourself\", \"tell yourself I can do it\", \"carry 10 cents in your pocket\", and all sorts of other shamanisms...<\/p>\n
It is time to use the knowledge of psychology to finally find out, what is self confidence<\/strong> and how to get it?<\/strong><\/p>\n [tcb-script] jQuery(function($){ $(window).scroll(function(e){ scrollTimeOut = true; if ($('#orodykle').length){ if($(window).scrollTop() + window.innerHeight > $('1TP6Pointer').offset().top) { setTimeout(function(){ $('1TP6Pointer').addClass('onscreen'); }, 750); } } }); } ); [\/tcb-script] <\/p>\n According to dictionaries:<\/p>\n "Self-confidence <\u2026> is related to beliefs about a person's overall ability to solve situations and problems in the world."<\/p><\/blockquote>\n People speak: <\/strong>a self-confident person has an "I can handle it" belief. And an insecure person says - "Oh my God, I don't know what I will do if I have to present this presentation!".<\/p>\n So, based on logic, it becomes clear that self-confidence is a lack of fear, because with a strong belief that "whatever happens, I can handle it", a person does not feel fear.<\/p>\n I will explain with a picture.<\/p>\n There are no fearless heroes in the world - supermen and batmen. We all feel differently in different situations. Thus, researchers distinguish 2 types: general self-confidence (BP) and specific self-confidence (SP).<\/p>\n It is a person's self-doubt - "I can overcome all difficulties". 1<\/a> Most psychologists believe that it comes from how a person evaluates abilities in past situations.<\/p>\n For example, if you were able to complete simple tasks day after day, 2<\/a> you have no doubt that you will manage easily in the future as well.<\/p>\n It is a contributor to overall confidence. The ability to cope with a specific task in a specific context. 3<\/a><\/p>\n For example: I used to play basketball and one of my teammates had low overall self-confidence. However, when he entered the basketball court, he became a superman, which would make Lebron James shy!<\/p>\n It is the confidence to perform difficult tasks. 4<\/a><\/p>\n There is reason to believe that specific self-confidence is more emotional state<\/strong>, which can be acquired, strengthened, changed. And general self-confidence is more personality trait<\/strong>. Therefore, specific trust is like a secondary, additional block.<\/p>\n This means that B.P. is a stable part of your personality that doesn't evaporate after a day, whereas S.P. is not stable because it is based on different experiences.And this is one of the most amazing aspects of our psychology, because S.P. can increase in a very short time, by re-experiencing specific spheres of life.<\/p>\n ...And at the same time, S.P. is not that important. <\/p>\n In summary, we have two ways to do this: A) <\/strong>Self-analysis methods and b)<\/strong> Methods of practical skills.<\/p>\n I will start with self-analysis, because in this - you will not need to do anything very new. Just turn on your observing brain 5<\/a> and check yourself.<\/p>\n We all have them, we just don't always recognize them. Such beliefs limit the possibilities of action, take away courage and make you constantly doubt. 6<\/a><\/p>\n ...The worst thing is that our brains programmed to seek confirmation that our beliefs are correct.<\/strong> And this is completely natural.<\/p>\n There are many scientific terms for this phenomenon: "reticular activating system" (RAS), confirmation bias<\/a> (confirmation trend) and the like. They all mean that we pay attention to evidence that supports our beliefs and ignore facts that contradict them. 7<\/a><\/p>\n All this leads to a behavioral phenomenon called a self-fulfilling prophecy<\/strong>. For example: \u201cI believe that others don't like me, so I will stay away from the party. I know no one will like me anyway."<\/p>\n This kind of behavior leads to people actually starting to dislike you. Therefore, the belief, even though it was not true in the beginning, is fulfilled. Your actions made it true.<\/p>\n Sometimes a self-fulfilling prophecy can be useful.<\/p>\n However, just pretending to be a successful person does not guarantee that you will become one. "Fake it till you make it" works rarely enough.<\/p>\n And self-esteem has little to do with the ability to perform tasks, as it is more about the ability to evaluate oneself positively.<\/p>\n For example: <\/strong>You can be a complete fool at school - clumsy, clumsy and so on... but still have high self-esteem in exams because you believe yourself to be a good person. Even though this has no logical connection to the tasks - you still believe in yourself.<\/p>\n What thoughts about yourself do you repeat to yourself?<\/p>\n To boost overall self-confidence, try to become an expert in several areas. <\/strong>It can be sports, art, cooking, massages, poetry recitation, programming, video editing, reading books. Or anything else. If you are able to become proficient in several areas of life, your ability to cope with tasks and problems increases.<\/p>\n Most of us are concerned with one type of SP, social trust. This includes all other things in which people interact. Although all social situations are similar, they require a unique level of self-confidence. Because there is no single and universal social confidence, there are MANY different social confidences.<\/p>\n For example, I never had a problem speaking in front of an audience, but sometimes I became shy at parties. The same people, the same you, but different circumstances and different self-confidence.<\/p>\n I will remind you that your level of self-confidence in each situation strongly depends on your previous experience in a similar situation.<\/p>\n The most effective way to gain social confidence is to:<\/p>\n It is one of the most direct, but most frightening paths. That is why courage is one of the most important things in achieving self-confidence.<\/p>\n Courage has one very precise definition:<\/p>\n It is your will to pursue a worthwhile goal despite fear, uncertainty, and risk. You're afraid, you don't know, you know the risk, but you do it anyway.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And when you start learning social skills, you experience a lot of fear and uncertainty, and you also see risks. 8<\/a> Courage helps you cope.<\/p>\n Let's say you want to go to another country in the summer, live and work. However, you don't even know which bus to take to the airport, let alone looking for a job in a foreign country, in a city you've never been to and know nothing about.<\/p>\n So, imagine browsing the internet and finding a cheap flight to the country you want to visit in a couple of weeks...<\/p>\n The goal in our first step is to figure out how things work. You have never been in such a situation, so you naturally feel a great sense of uncertainty. And the unknown is fear's best friend, because when you don't know what to expect, you doubt whether you can handle the situation. And the result is low self-confidence and fear.<\/p>\n The uncertainty can be elementary: Is there a bus that takes you from the airport to the city? Will there be enough space on the bus? Will you put the suitcase in the trunk or in the cabin? Won't it disappear? Which hotel to choose? How much will it cost me? 9<\/a><\/p>\n All these circumstances create fear and doubt. <\/strong>The good news is that the fear will decrease with each (travel) process.<\/p>\n Therefore, just being in a new situation increases specific self-confidence. You learn to deal with specific problems and learn what to expect - reducing the painful dose of the unknown.<\/p>\n There is a saying: "You don't know if you don't try." I can't count how many times this has worked for me.<\/p>\n This time it will be enough to know the most important thing: If you want to communicate better with people... you just have to communicate more with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n There is no magic here. And it doesn't depend on any psychological type. Extroverts communicate more easily, not because they are extroverts - they communicate more easily because they regain their strength by communicating... And they have always communicated more!<\/p>\n Therefore, you must learn to approach a stranger and say: \"Hi, my name is...\"<\/a>. Such an action did not cause great fear. Many people don't have enough practice, so they feel fear without confidence.<\/p>\n But it takes courage to take the first step.<\/strong> Instead of standing in the corner with a cocktail in hand or playing on your smartphone.<\/p>\n Daniel tells more about communication in the following articles:<\/p>\nWhat does "self-confidence" mean?<\/h2>\n
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<\/span><\/p>\nTwo types of self-confidence.<\/h2>\n
1) General self-confidence:<\/h3>\n
2) Specific self-confidence:<\/h3>\n
How do these types of self-confidence interact?<\/h3>\n
How to strengthen self-confidence?<\/h2>\n
Self-analysis I: Limiting beliefs<\/em><\/h3>\n
Self-analysis II: Self-worth<\/em><\/h3>\n
And then... Practical skills techniques.<\/h2>\n
Example: Social situations<\/em><\/h3>\n
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Practical exercises. Courage. What is it?<\/h2>\n
First step: Get started now!<\/em><\/h3>\n
SECOND STEP: Practice<\/em><\/h3>\n